What are big turn offs for you girls in under two minutes?

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08-03-11, 02:11 PM
OrdosInfinity

What are big turn offs for you girls in under two minutes?

[Black text is back story, feel free to skip to the Blue text for the actual question]

As previously mentioned in my intro bit, I am a creepy guy. Always have been. Never made eye contact, never was good at nonverbal cues, never had empathy enough to read facial expressions. I learned to make hand motions and inflections in my voice by studying stand up comedians and have learned to read social situations better but despite many first dates I never get a call back and when I greet a girl I am sitting by in class and strike up conversation she is mysteriously sitting across the room the next day.

I once read and had it confirmed to me by a few female buddies online that a girl decides within the first few minutes of meeting a guy whether or not he is romantic material. While I am sure the "What turns girls off?" bit has been asked before, I am curious about what turns you off in the short term, specifically, on the initial meeting. What small things do you notice that have turned you off before? What is it that makes a creepy guy creepy to you?

In order to help you weed out the easy ones so I am not wasting your time and mine with a super vague question I will add the obvious ones that I suspect of being deal breakers below, of which I am not guilty or have fixed:

Smells bad - I shower regularly so this is not my issue.

Speech impediment - I actually have a large and eclectic vocabulary and speak my language with no slur or stutter.

Launches into bullshit conversation about crap he is interested in - I know girls don't care about science and the new video card that just came out so I keep initial greets to simple "Hello" and don't launch into this stuff. I try to focus mostly on them, limiting personal statements or comments concerning me to one for every two questions I ask about her, personally or her opinion on something.

I suspect that I am sending out a signals I am unaware of and once I find, isolate, and eliminate these creep factors I should be good to go. Thanks in advance for any insight you can garner.
08-03-11, 10:39 PM
Take2

Because you say you don't have a natural ability to read social cues and that your mannerisms are rehearsed, you may be coming off as overly rehearsed and therefore fake in a "bodies in my freezer at home" sort of way. Do you have someone who can give you feedback on this in real life? On a message board, there is no way to judge.

Or you may be moving through the first steps of the process at lightning speed and that is a bit creepy. There is a natural ebb and flow to a conversation, and that rhythm is different based on the length of time you have known someone. Are you approximating the ebb and flow of old friends with a stranger? Or maybe the opposite, keeping the formal ebb and flow even as the conversation progresses and you get to know someone? Or maybe just missing cues that the person doesn't even want to talk at all, thus seeming pushy?
08-03-11, 11:15 PM
vashti

Do you have Asperger's? Because just reading what you wrote makes me think you might, and they have associations that can help you with your personal interactions.
08-03-11, 11:24 PM
sadie_genie

Rudeness or excessive loudness really turns me off. Try to be as polite as you can for the initial meeting.
08-03-11, 11:26 PM
DoesntMatter

Quote:

Originally Posted by sadie_genie [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Rudeness or excessive loudness really turns me off. Try to be as polite as you can for the initial meeting.

Duly noted
09-03-11, 01:00 AM
girl68

Things that have put me off:
-gay bashing
-not being a gentleman (first meeting is about your BEST foot forward)
-too chatty with others while meeting me
-loud/ rude/ and cocky seem to go hand in hand and it's all a huge turn off
-overly quiet men... just awkard.
09-03-11, 03:44 AM
xxazurexx

In under 2 minutes??

I wouldn't be able to judge someones ways/personality in under 2 minutes, (unless he acted a complete dick in under 2 minutes), so it has to be something that is noticed immediatley....bad breath, smells, scruffy appearance, etc

Things that have put me off are arrogance, men who are too full of themselves and think they are gods gift to women.
Too quiet, not much to say and boring.
Trying too hard to impress.
No sense of humour.
09-03-11, 07:24 AM
blinki

also, don't want to sound harsh, but due to the fact that you say you've taught yourself to interact by watching comedians or whatever, it may seem 'fake'. not every girl is stupid. actors can act all they like, still doesn't make it real. they might be catching on to that. i can pretend to be a pilot (or whatever) all i like, it doesn't make me one. even if the person believes you are.
09-03-11, 02:30 PM
MerryH

Quote:

Originally Posted by OrdosInfinity [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Speech impediment - I actually have a large and eclectic vocabulary and speak my language with no slur or stutter.

This is great, but be careful not to use your large vocabulary when it isn't necessary. Using big words for no reason (especially when casually talking to a stranger) is off-putting.

Quote:

Originally Posted by OrdosInfinity [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Launches into bullshit conversation about crap he is interested in - I know girls don't care about science and the new video card that just came out so I keep initial greets to simple "Hello" and don't launch into this stuff. I try to focus mostly on them, limiting personal statements or comments concerning me to one for every two questions I ask about her, personally or her opinion on something.

Also great. You're absolutely right that not everyone wants to hear the details of your hobbies and interests. But if you're focusing on the other person too much, it's going to make them feel uncomfortable. Try to make your conversations 50/50. And many girls like to talk science and other geeky things. Those topics are not forbidden, just see how they react to them. If they sound uninterested, change the topic.

Quote:

Originally Posted by OrdosInfinity [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I suspect that I am sending out a signals I am unaware of and once I find, isolate, and eliminate these creep factors I should be good to go.

You keep saying "creep." You should try to stop thinking of yourself that way. A real creep doesn't care about his interactions with others being perceived as creepy, so I think that takes you out of the creep category. You just need to get more used to interaction. Get out and meet as many people as you can.