Huge mess, is there a right thing to do?
Ok so story starts about 1 and a half months ago
My 1year+ relationship fell apart before my eyes
With her blaming me for it, saying it was cause i didnt trust her, couldnt give her the (tbh) arbritary space shed asked for and that we were arguing alot.
[Later this was cleared up, read on]
I kept trying to fix stuff, but she just couldnt be dealt with, she kept getting worse and worse
She started seeing a guy from her work who id always mistrusted, and i wasnt a fan of how much contact she had with him before we broke up. I just.. knew.. he wouldnt be good for her and that she was making a mistake. and within a few days i was proven right
She had a weekend out to celebrate the end of her work contract thing, friday out, saturday out, then sunday recovering, she went for a meal with friends she had from when she used to go to church alot, the effect they have on her is great, she thinks clearer and nicer and is much more reasonable, and she actualy went outside from the meal with her friends to call me and apologise for how she had treated me, and that while it wasnt all back to good, we could talk
I was supprised but happy with the development
Then on her way home from the meal, her new boyfriend, who shed been with less than a week, dumped her.
I got a phonecall from her later on, in tears, she didnt know who else to turn to, all the way thru i never stopped loving her, and i couldnt just leave her on her own like that, i picked her up, we went for a drive, then i took her home
It turns out even from the start hed had doubts about them, he only waited to dump her til after she slept with him
And she hadnt been on the pill... and they hadnt used a condom
So the next day, valentines day of all days, she had to get the morning after pill, she couldnt afford it thou, so i ended up going to pay for it for her, and spent a few hours with her so she didnt spend valentines day alone
She offered to give me the truth about some things, and it turns out i was right to not trust her and the guy from work even b4 we broke up, in fact shed broken us up with arguments and trying to blame me for it all. It wasnt my fault at all, she just needed an excuse
And shed also been smoking for months, i knew shed smoked in the past, but shed quit, and so had been lying about it to me for months, while expecting my total trust
I continued to be there for her, despite us having several arguments and mini fights cause ofc i felt she deserved what he'd done to her, and it was pretty bad that it was me she expected sympathy from me after what shed done to me.
But gradually she started to see how stupid she had been with it, but she still didnt want to sort things with me, which hurt
I kept being there for her, we went and saw a comedian, wed talk on the phone, just generally trying to keep her spirits up
but a week after valentine day, and almost a week of taking over the counter sleep aides, she felt the need to go to the doctor about feeling depressed
she was prescribed prozac, and put as a high priority for counselling (but theres a very long waiting list)
her moods are now very up and down and un predictable, and then comes along another guy...
someone from her work who shed only got to tlk to the weekend of her finished work
she went for drinks with him one day, another thing to keep her happy and busy, but... he turned out to be, as i had expected, and in her words "a creeper" who was all over her and rly bothered her
she was calling me and texting me begging me to come "save" her from him, eventualy i finished the meeting i had and got to go see her, and get to see him try and steal a kiss from her, she was completely uninterested.
so then me and her went for drinks and stuff
since then hes generally never stopped texting her... at first even thinking that she was his gf or something, always flirting and stuff, she didnt flirst back, but pretty much just let it happen and enabled it
me and her continued to see each other and stuff, and i helped encourage her when it came to her getting a new job, then one day she, stupidly tbh, went to the creepers house, with the intention of staying over the night, i knew it was stupid but she was adamant it wasnt a bad idea... within minutes of her being there she was texting and calling me again... and in the end left alot earlier, but not before shed given into him and... done stuff with him, i couldnt even look at her when picking her up later, she was trying to joke it off and felt bad herself, but also revealed she would have rather it been me shed done the stuff with
a couple of days later we went to the cinema, shed been asking me for some of her stuff back that shed given me back following the break up, a year ago id bought her a nice (not expensive) ring for her birthday, and she wanted it back
she had waved it off as being materialistic, but when shed gotit back and seemed so happy she revealed she liked it cause it reminded her of me, the same with the other items of jewelry i gave back later, she never takes them off now, just like when wed been dating
and on our night out at the cinema, i decided to take the initiative and kiss her, to show i wasnt just after friendship, she kissed back, we kissed alot that night, and had a really good time, the next day she felt she had made a mistake kissing me and giving me "false" hope, we had a few drinks and chilled, didnt kiss the same but it was ok, it was about this time she got her new job
the next week she started her new job, sadly thou the "creeper" still texting her ALOT worked at the same place, i was meeting her after work and after id got out of uni, b4 then she was spending abit of time with him... i went to meet her to then see them kissing... i got pissed off, went to leave, she called me told me to come back and tlk to her about it, we argued abit, talked, sort of sorted things out with her saying nothings going on, and shes just having abit of harmless fun, and she has 0 interest in him
that week it was like we were a couple again... shed call me everymorning to tlk before work, we saw each other everyday after work, and shed call me again afterwards and always b4 going to bed, a few times the creepy guy had tried to arrange to see her after work, but shed end up seeing me instead, and on the saturday she came to mine to chill, and see the hamster we got together, we had a laugh, and kissed alot, but at one point she called the creeper guy, pretending she was just at a friends, not mine, and that her friend was "asleep" while actually she was sneakily kissing me between talking to him
we kept going like this for the following week (this week just passed), with her being coupley with me, but still texting him alot to have his attention too, wednesday night we had an argument after the cinema after i wanted to talk about us, and all id ever get was "im too tired" or "im not in the mood" or shed try and just postpone it
and id had enough of her just pushing the issue back, the next day thou... we were fine again, and the next until saturday, she was going for a night out, and i was going to give her a lift home, but i aid id only do it if sunday shed try sorting stuff out with me, she said fine, that night she ended up going out and getting very drunk with the creeper guy, and then started calling me, demanding i buy her smokes and stuff, then saying i didnt have to pick her up she was gna stay at the creepers, this REALLY bothered me, cause it was completely the opposite of what would help us sort stuff out, and she knew it, she then started to claim she did have feelings for him, so i got annoyed that shed been lying to me about it for weeks, we argued and sh tried to say she hadnt lied, she said she didnt have to keep any of her promises about trying to sort stuff out, and she said she wasnt going to pay me back any of the large amount of money she owed me from me helping her out over the last 7 months.
at this point id had enough, she owed me too much for it to be reasonable to let her off with not paying me, so i went to have a word with her parents,her mother assured me she wouldnt let her get away with it and wed work something out
and it would be best for me if i ignored her for a while, so that she has a chance to realise what she has to lose
and thats where i am now... wanting to work stuff out still, wanting to be there for her, but at the same time meant to be not talking to her, and even with her being mad at me for talking to her mother
i truely love her, and want to keep my promises to her, is it really such a bad idea?
if alcohol and the creeper hadnt got in the way we would have been working stuff out a few hours ago
everything that happens between me and her suggests she wants to be with me, but then she goes and does something stupid with someone else
and then theres her mental issues, if she is needing to take the prozac to be ok theres a very definite problem there
but at the same time if she doesnt actualy need to take it, the fact she thinks she does is problem enough
i dont want to give up on her, but finding the strength to keep going is truely tough
everyone keeps saying how much of a nice guy i am and shouldnt be treated the way shes treated me, even her own mother takes my side
but should i let her treatment of me change me? im not one to cut my loses and run without having tried everything
sorry for how long it is! but this is about as short as i can make it... its such a mess now
