do i have the right to feel this way?
hello, i am new to the forum and would really like some advice.
im 20 and my boyfriend is 22. We live with my parents and have been together a few month short of 2 years. I am really insecure in myself and i struggle to trust my boyfriend. I feel this is because of my lack in confidence, my past relationship and because of things my partner has done.
Since being in this relationship i have lost all of my confidence. I use to feel attractive and good about myself, i now literally have none, this is because in these 2 years so much has happened to knock it. I have always felt second best to his ex girlfriend, he treated her so differently to me, he doesn't show me he appreciates me in anyway shape or form. I found alot of naked photos of his ex on his old phone he borrowed me, he's never once even had a photo of me fully clothed on his phone, let alone naked, so this made me feel bad about my body, especially as our sex life isn't great. Its repetitive, i feel like its a chore for him, he never grabs me and has sex with me spare of the moment, i always have to mention our lack of sex for him to bother. He went through a stage of not having sex at all, but going in the bathroom with porn, he thought i didn't know. Whenever he goes to a party/the pub h never takes me, even though all his friends girlfriends go, who happen to be my friends, this makes me feel he is embarrassed by me, when we are in town on a night time, he never comes to meet me even if his friends have gone to meet their other halves. I get told he's cheated on me a lot, sometimes i know this is a lie because hes with me at the time but when i get told hes cheated on me whilst out drinking, it makes me question it because he doesn't invite/meet me. I got told he slept with some girl on holiday with the boys, they told me her name so i checked his friends on facebook, there was a girl by that name who went to the same holiday destination as him at the same time (seen her photo album) and wasnt friends with any of the friends he went on holiday with, which to me is suspicious + he himself told me 5month into our relationship he was tempted to cheat on me at a house party he went too, he said nothing happened but he considered it because he knew she wanted too, she was a friend of a friend who didn't live in the same town and it later came out he'd give her his number, slept in a bed with her that night, arranged to go down and see her and spent the day after the party with her and drove her to the train station.
I admit im really insecure and have a lot of difficulty trusting him, but do i have reason? im the first to admit i feel uneasy about my boyfriend going out, i haven't told him he can't though but i have told him i dislike him staying out/over because the last time he did, look what happened. Do i have the right to say this to him? he makes me feel im possessive or controlling with no reason to be and he can't understand why i have trouble trusting him.
I don't feel in the relationship i get what i need. I do absolutely everything for my partner, cook, clean, tidy, everything. i run round after him but i feel i get nothing back in return. He spends all his free time on the laptop, up to 7 hours a day, i can't even get him to get me a drink when i am in bed poorly, i suffer from aplastic anemia and he doesn't help out with anything. I Dont even ask him to watch dvds anymore because i feel like he'd rather sit online and the last time we did wactch one he said he only did it to keep me quiet, surely he should want to snuggle up with dvds or spend time with me? he doesn't realise by treating me this way he makes me feel more insecure about myself, feel like he doesn't care which also makes me feel he'd cheat on me.
i dont know if i am being weird and my boyfriend is right..
how would you feel if you were in this situation?
