The chapter of my bf's ex is finally closed.

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My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months, he's my longest relationship, my first love, my first everything. But when we started going out, he just got out of a relationship of 7 years. He asked me to be his girlfriend a month later, and I said no, because first, I wasn't all the interested in him or a relationship at the time and second I didn't want to be a rebound girl, so he waited. Eventually I said yes because I started to really like him. He's a lot older than I am, but the age isn't a factor, but it just means he's experienced more than I have.

Throughout the whole time we were dating, I have been so insecure, and jealous and snoopy, all of which I regret. I would find pictures in his drawer and albums, and when I mentioned it, he told me he would hide it but I'd find it again, in the drawer under the other one I previously found them in, under his socks, except along with more albums and loveletters. So I thought, okay maybe he's not over his ex yet, but out of respect for our relationship he should have at least put it away in a box. She still e-mails him, and calls him, and he claims to not answer. But I don't know right because I'm not with him all the time.

Then the most disturbing thing happened, I was on his computer looking for some music, and it's a computer that he doesn't use anymore, but I found a sexual video of him and his ex, along with millions of pictures of them. I guess he thought I'd never use that computer because he uses a different one now. At first I couldn't handle it, I was so upset and so weirded out I couldn't think straight for days.. but in a way I'm glad I saw it.

It was a turning point for me, it made me realize, that he has a past, and as much as I would love to go back in time and change things, I can't. I can't blame him for falling in love with someone before he even met me, or being happy with someone else. I was always so jealous of his ex, not because I was threatened, but because she was his first love, and I know I'll always be second, but I've accepted it, because I'm with him now. When I told him about how I felt, he said "I'm not going to lie to you, yes I was in love before, but you are number one in my heart."

It won't bother me anymore if I see that she calls, or writes because it only means she realizes what she's lost. He's been so great with me this whole time, so patient and understanding because he knows that his ex bothers me. I've been blinded by his past, and by his ex, when I should have been focussing on the present, but things are going to change now. The chapter of my boyfriend's ex, is finally closed.