need some insight about my ex

I dated my ex for almost seven years. First loves, first real relationship, etc. Really was going to marry her.

In the beginning of January she broke up with me sort of out of the blue. SHe said that she did not have feelings anymore and that I did not make her feel special.

Now, she had a lot of family issues that affected us, and we almost broke up back in August, but she said she made a mistake. In November she said how she never felt closer to me, etc. as I really put a lot of effort into being more romantic and open.

The reasons that she broke up with me are kind of conflicting, as I took her out for a special bday gift/trip to the city, got an expensive dinner and show, yet she says that she was not "special" to me.

A week after she broke up with me she started to go on dates with this kid who always tried to come between us. Within a month they are official. She says she never has been happier and they say love you to each other already.

Not trying to be stuck up, but this guy is totally opposite: he is overweight, has no education past HS and literally flips burgers as his profession. He and his family have had history of drug problems and pregnancies, and he has told her lies in the past.

She has started to lose her friends since she has not really been in contact with them, and has started trouble on facebook.

So my questions are: is this a rebound/GIGS? What can I do? If she is really so happy why does she post stuff like that on FB and start trouble and ultimately lose her friends?

Why do you keep posting this? And why do you want this girl back so badly when she is ungrateful, gives you conflicting reasons for breaking up, and shows just how much adult insight she lacks by dating someone of that description?

Be glad you are rid of such a person. Now stop reading her facebook and do something worthwhile.

I reckon she ditched you and to date him because she prefers him - so no, I don't think it's a rebound.

Rebounds tend to happen and when people jump in without thinking.

She made a 'choice' in her mind between you and him and she chose him.

Stop getting yourself worked up over this. Let her make a mess of her life and you a success of yours. Delete her off facebook and have nothing more to do with her.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Spring Haze [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Why do you keep posting this? And why do you want this girl back so badly when she is ungrateful, gives you conflicting reasons for breaking up, and shows just how much adult insight she lacks by dating someone of that description?

Be glad you are rid of such a person. Now stop reading her facebook and do something worthwhile.

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...ur right. 100%. idk why I keep going back to missing her with all of these things happening and how she is acting. I have deleted her. I feel bad and even worry bout her when I know I can't and shouldn't but for some reason can't help it. The thing is it seems that in a matter of weeks she has gone to thus immature and reckless abandonment attitude.

Well being overly critical of yourself isn't going to help you. Of course you're going to miss someone you've dated for 7 long years. Even if the current behavior does not match who they once were - you miss the memory of them (going by the assumption she was once decent). There may be no "good" reason for still caring for her, but the feelings still exist. Acknowledging them but not acting out on the feelings is what's important. So give yourself time to get over her. You're moving in the right direction.

Wow...7 years is a long,long time... and she was your first love, and having serious plans to marry...I can imagine how hard this must havebeen for you. And it is almost impossible to get over her in an instant moment... The fact that you are thinking of her is because you care and you are worried about her. I think it takes a big heart and strength to handle this the way you do. Not to forget very human.

But you also have to take care of yourself. The way you write about her, seems like she is very confused and emotionally unbalanced. And there is nothing you can do for her, it is her personal process. The only thing you can do is to let her know you're there for her when she needs a friend.The question is: are you capable to support her like a caring friend? Do it only when you feel ok about this , because you have to think about your own process as well. And that is process the break up. She has to understand your side too.

Don't take it lightly, because it's a huge change.

A quote:
"View the other person with compassion, rather than with bitterness. Realize that they did the best they were capable of, and if their best was not in your best interest, then it is a gift that they are out of your life!"