I messed up. What should I do?

Hi,

I'm new to the forum. Just signed up to try and get some advice .. I've been in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend for almost 3 yrs while I've been at university. I'm 25 and she's 23. We live in separate cities about an hours flight from one another and see each other once for a few days per month usually. Although sometimes go 5 - 6 weeks without seeing her.

I'm due to finish uni in 3 months and was planning on possibly moving to be with her, we're still talking this through. I love her so much. I've been totally faithful to her the entire time and we get along really well. We want to travel together next year ...

Anyway, to the point. Last night me and a bunch of friends (most of whom I just met this yr) went out drinking and because I live close to the city everyone decided to crash the night at my place. A guy and girl friend of mine (who were sort of getting friendly together during the night) had to sleep on my bed with me, just due to lack of places to sleep, while everyone else crashed out on chairs and couch etc. Anyway, three people crammed into my bed was quite a squeeze and with her in the middle we all ended up spooning (I told my gf about this which was fine, although she wasn't overly happy about this other girl sleeping in my bed, but it was buffered by this other guy being in there too). Throughout the night this girl, to my surprise, started cuddling up to me and rubbing my arm etc. I don't know why, and I fully regret doing it, I guess just a slip or moment of weakness, but for some reason at one point during the night I ran my hand over her bum and down her leg for about a minute in response to her touching my arm. Then I stopped and fully regretted what I had done or signals I might have sent off. Nothing else happened, sexual or otherwise. Nor did I want it to. I am not attracted to her, but do find it hard sometimes being without my girlfriend for such lengths of time and can only surmise that this is what lead me to slip. I really never imagined she would try it on with me or anything like that, as there we three of us in the bed and I am quite open and forthcoming about being in a relationship.

I have never cheated before, and although it may sound ridiculous to people, as I know some people sleep around and don't tell their partners, I feel horrible about it. Really awful. I couldn't bear to lose my girlfriend over something to small and meaningless, a really dumb slip up. How bad is it what I have done and how should I handle it? Advice so far from a couple of friends is that it would just make her worry if I told her, being we are far apart, and I can honestly say it will never happen again and there is nothing to worry about in the future. Another piece of advice is that I owe her the truth. What do you guys think? I am really torn up about it. Appreciate any advice .. I really don't want to lose her

If it were me, Id forget it happened and move on loving your girlfriend as usual....big deal - youre only human - and a 25 yr old college one at that :) I personally dont know how you remain faithful anyway - is this BYU youre going to? :)

Thanks. It has been a lot of hard work to remain faithful believe me! And I have come close to failing once or twice in the past but always managed to catch myself before it reached the point it did the other night. Staying faithful is worth it though when you have an amazing gf like her. Nope not BYU either!? Unsure why you thought that? But would prefer not to say for anonymous reasons :) Thanks for your comment I appreciate it.

Do not, ever, tell her! What happened was a non event, it will get blown out of proportion if you bring it up. You had a moment of weakness, ignore it.
Your guilt is your punishment, take it and learn from it. If you're ever in a similar situation in the future you will remember 1:how much you love your girlfriend and 2: how guilty you felt last time!
Learn from it, move on.