deeply regrettimg a mistake but now bf won't take me back it's over help:(
I don't know if anyone is offended hope it's ok to post. I'm a male who started having a relationship with another male at the end of January 2011 and well the weekend of march 10th, I lied about where I was going and I told my bf I was going to my father's but instead made plans to go over someone's house but didn't cheat but because I lied about it, the bf said he could no longer trust me. I really didn't mean to hurt him. I had went to a grocery store in another town and I had bought food for us to make when I came back home. Well I left the receipts in there and made up a story and he knew something wasn't right about it and it hurt him. So he wouldn't call me and I made an attempt to call him and he said he couldn't trust me anymore so relationship was over. I was so upset and devastated. I had forgotten I was human that next day talked online to get as much help as possible. I had lost sight of myself. I forgot I was human & make mistakes. It took a while for people to convince me. I finally started feeling better called him & we talked and he left me a message Weds March 16th 2011 and I got it when I got home. I think right away I had it in my head oh it must mean he wants to work things out. He said he wanted to be less serious and play pretty much. I noticed that night, we weren't as close we didn't even kiss and he didn't really stay near me much except we had sex but there was no romance involved in it this time. I then called him a day later he said he'd call me again sometime in the near future not sure when. I then last night called him and he said he didn't want to even hang out anymore that he rather have sex with someone he has feelings for and he kept insisting that I go back with a freind who I have no intrest for. But he stayed he would always have in the back of his mind wondering if I was true or not. I did breakdown on the phone as I am an emotional person. It of course didn't help any. I asked if we could be freind he said okay with that. I have since decided if he wants me he'll contact me so I will not be making any attempts to contact him anymore since he doesn't want anything more to do with me. It really hurts cause he inspired me to change for the better and made me feel so confident and worthwhile! We really had magic & he seemed like the perfect person. I'm struggling to regain myself esteem again and am so sad and miserable now.
just struggling to let go any help also thanks guys
hey guys thanks for posting greatly appreciate it! Just struggling to move on now. Why is it so damn hard for me to move on? I may just go for a walk for a while to help clear my mind. I have lost the desire to do anything lately. Why does my ex bf seem to take everything so calmly while I was so emotionally devastated. I plan on waiting for a while to see what happens in a couple months. It was so special what we once had and it just seems so hard to get past the fact I don't think I can find someone who was as unique and as great a guy as him? How to cope with this and move past it? I know I'm being so over analytical about all this. I've struggled with having to let things go in the past.
well I guess I have to move on
I got an email he said he's over over it so I guess time will tell so I'm gonna just go for now I've left him a few emails and I left a couple poems but don't know if he cares... He doesn't think I loved him and I did but as my mind gets clearer I'll just move on with time but always will wonder what could have been