I've known this girl for about a year (mostly since February). We hung out a lot and I got the feeling that she had a thing for me; but at the time I sort of disregarded it. She talked with me about some of her problems and such; I tried to help but I'm not that well experienced with offering advice.
When I had finally gotten over what was keeping me from being interested I was a little too late. She had already found someone else that she liked (which to this day I cannot comprehend; I spent a lot of time trying to figure it out, too). They went out for a month or so until she realized that he was not worth it. During that month or so we didn't really talk to or see eachother much (duh, because dating someone else) - but it seemed like there was a larger reason. It's not like we were angry with eachother but we just didn't talk; even when we were out in a group. She got really angry with me a couple times during that time; yelled at me once while we were out in the group and another time in "private" (over AIM) for something I had done (which wasn't a big deal at all).
After she dumped him it still took a while before we started to hang out again. When we did start going out and doing stuff it seemed much like before. The only difference is that this time I was (still am) too afraid to tell her how I felt. I'm not very agressive at this sort of thing; I'm pretty shy. She went off for college (hey, I go to college to just not the same one!) and comes back fairly often, and I always let her know how glad I was that she would be coming back. Every once in a while we'd talk on the phone and we would talk for hours!
Now she came back for the break. She seemed really excited about coming back - except the night before ... I only talked to her for a few seconds. Since she has been here I think that I am lucky to have only seen her for a few hours. I don't know how to describe it, but it was like she was depressed or sad, but not really; like she was preoccupied or worried. She said she had a lot to think about; she didn't really share what that was. I suspect she found a boyfriend the last couple days before she left; but she has never really directly said it. With me, her, and a freind of mine I've heard her mention "someone" and "a guy" once as inconspicuously as possible; shyly, embarassed or even shamefully it seemed. I don't know why she would have trouble saying she had a boyfriend; unless I guess she doesn't (I'm almost convinced she does however).
I was very excited that she was coming back because I really intended to tell her how I felt. Even if she rejected me I would be fine. I would feel much better than I have been. The problem now is I feel it's wrong to do that to someone when they're already seeing someone else. I don't know for sure if she has ever had a thing for me; and if I told her how I felt now then even if I did have a chance I think I would be totally screwed because of what's she's into right now.
I had a question when I first started writing this but I kind of forgot it now. The only things I can think of asking now are.. Do you think I ever had/will have another chance? and What should I do?
