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Am I a diamond in the rough? My husband never instigates sex. I want him to instigate and I even told him that over a week ago. We haven't had sex since. I keep myself clean and smelling nice just in case, but every night I fall asleep wanting.... and a little sad.
Some people are more comfortable when the other person instigates physical activity. He could be a little insecure and he might be worried about if you say no.
If you want it, and more specifically, him, then go ahead and make the moves whenever you want. He would probably appreciate you taking the lead and the increased amount of sex should help ease his mind about initiating things in the future.
Good luck.
I usually do. for instance two weeks ago we made love 5 times, I instigated every time. He's involved after I start, but I want to feel wanted too. He used to be instigating just as much as I would, but just in the last couple months he stopped.
I know you said you told him that you want him to instigate things, but have you asked him why he doesn't? Maybe he has other stressors on his mind - work, mortgage, etc. He may be running at full throttle mentally and is having a hard time settling his mind down to think about other things.
Of course, I don't know for sure, so just ask him. Maybe after sex so he doesn't feel put on the spot to try something right there.
Good luck.
You are right. I should look more to his wants, needs, and stresses right now. I never thought to ask him. He is always stressed about money and work, no matter how much he makes he never feels like it's enough. I don't know how to relieve that stress though.
girl I'm the same way, I'm horny 24/7!
Man, did I get the short end of the stick.
I have a high libido too, I always felt bad for wanting sex all the time with my ex as he was happy for 2-3 times a week whereas I could go everyday. Twice a day.
Kidababe if he used to instigate but now has stopped I second the motion it could be stress. Just have a casual chat to him about how you feel and see what he says.
I can advise from the man's point of view, since my fiancee has a very high sex drive. Yes, she instigates more often than me, that's only because she's quicker to make the 1st move. I want it too, but when I am overly stressed and tired, I don't feel like starting it. It's perfectly normal... I want sex often too, but the penis needs a rest sometimes.