Scared of the first time

So I am with this girl. Neither of us are virgins. She has much more experience than myself, but she has told me that she is scared and nervous. She wants to do it, I want to do it. The scared and nervous is still there. She wants it to be special (aka not in a car or college dorm) because she doesn't want me to be just another guy. I agree for the same reason. We had a chat about it last night and she was basically like, this needs to happen soon or it may not. As she grows to like me more and more, the more nervous and scared she is getting about sex.

So this puts me in a predicament. How do I make it so that she is comfortable?

Admittedly this is my fault. I didn't want to be 'just another guy', because I am not. Not because I try to be different, I just bloody well am and can't help it. So I wanted her heart, I told her that and said that I wanted to be included in her life before we had sex. You know mutual caring about each others happiness and all the mushy stuff. Basically, I wanted to meet her parents.

I feel that this was a great idea, because I think she might be quite smitten with me now because she has realized I am a proper gent, unfortunately the above problems have appeared in our sex life.

From my intuition and from talking with her, she has some trust issues from her past (relationships? family?) and she has told me that she is scared that the more she likes me the more she is scared of getting hurt. This totally makes sense. I feel that I am entering into this with the best of intentions though and was straight up with her. I told her it is likely that I will hurt her and that she will also hurt me, but we need to learn from that and forgive each other because nobody is perfect.

So yeah I guess this isn't necessary just about sex, because I don't think that is going to be changing any emotions that are going on with caring and that lot. What it comes down to is her ability to trust me to put her first. I have other musings that maybe it comes from her own mistrust of herself. She might be afraid that she won't always put me first. I dunno though, I'm not really scared of getting hurt. I sort of revel in it because the ups and downs of the ride are worth every second. It makes you feel alive which I think is the greatest.

So yeahhh a lot of thinking, sort of off track. Anyone with helpful advice or opinions?

What it boils down to is this - Sex is best when you stop thinking. In fact, it is almost impossible when you are thinking. Before hand, that is great to think and want it to be special, etc. But sex is a primal instinct. Overthinking it destroys it. In Freudian terms, your Superego will try its best to suppress your Id.

And stop saying things like you will probably hurt her. Everyone knows that everyone breaks up until we find the one person we stay with forever. But no one needs to be reminded of the statistics. The bliss of forgetting those facts while we are with someone is part of what makes relationships fun.

Good luck.