Messing with me to get a reaction, or do guys actually see no problem with this...?

Ok so there is this guy ive had a bit of a crush on.. his a player so ive kept my feelings out of it but im just very attracted to him. We've hooked up 3 times within the past couple of months and i see him nearly every week cos we go to a lot of the same places. We're friendly and always talk a bit, theres usually some flirting and we get along well.

Anyway last night i saw him out and he went out of his way to talk to me a couple of times, being really friendly. Then at one point we were dancing together and i thought we were gonna hook up. Until he completely shut me down when he randomly asked me if i would hook up with his friend he was with. I sorta knew his friend, and i know theyre really close friends. So i was just thinking what the heck is he serious?! I thought he was joking because he kept laughing and his friend is not exactly a looker. I felt like he would know i would say no and that he shouldnt even ask. But when he talked a bit more i dont think he was joking. And i had got the impression his friend was interested in me that night. Then to make me feel even less significant, a girl he was friends with came over and he felt her up a little bit as she walked past, RIGHT in front of my face, it was completely unnecessary. I acted cool and like none of this bothered me, but all of this was just a big slap in the face.

Afterwards i thought that maybe he was just trying to mess with me and see how i would react. But then i thought maybe guys dont see any problem with that and he was being serious. And if they are serious.. do they honestly think the girl is not going to be offended and that she would actually go for that? So i would really be interested to hear males perspectives.

You hooked up with him casually......so what do you think? duh.
He had his d ick in you a few times and so he is done with you.....now that he knows you are ok to give it up to him, he is just helping out his buddy to get laid. So yes he was being serious.

You did this to yourself. If you want a guy's respect and be treated like a lady, keep you legs closed hun.

No need to be mean geez its not like he was a stranger and he knows im selective. Im not that angry about it or care that much i just dont get how guys can be that rude or oblivious to do that. I mean do they honestly think we're gonna go hook up with their friend? Even if i dont have feelings for a guy i hook up with theres no way im gonna try hook them up with a friend of mine. But at least you have answered my question so now i know guys dont see an issue with that and he probably was serious. Yuck :/

Although my brother knows his friend and apparantly he has a girlfriend?

Some guys just want to see what they can get away with. He'd probably say "Can't blame a guy for trying." But really, you can blame him for being a douchebag.

Yeah haha i hate it when guys think they have rights to turn into a douchebag after tey get with you. Its nice to see that at least one guy can still see this behaviour as rude.

Haha I'm a girl, sorry. I have no business in the Ask a Male forum, but seeing as how you got verbally kicked around by the first response, I thought I would offer another perspective.

I have to agree with Smackie.

I mean, really, what did you expect?
You casually slept with him.
You're nothing to him but free ass. Did you think he was going to be respectful of your feelings, just because you slept with him? Act like a gentleman, keep his perv tendencies in check till you were out of the room, treat you like you're worth something to him, all because you shared a few steamy nights together?

It was sex. No emotional connection for him. If you liked him, maybe you shouldn't have slept with him? Because, you already have an emotional connection to him, and all I see coming out of this is heartache for you, and you only, because he obviously doesn't see you anything other than a lay.
He was being completely serious, because he's a douche, which you have acknowledged that.

I know how you feel, I've been done like this before, and I've had to set them straight about it.
Here's what I learned:
If you want a casual encounter, sleep with someone you don't give a damn about, and leave it like THAT. Hit it, then quit it. Unless you can feel something along the lines of a friendship with that person, just leave it alone. Easier for all.

Mmm but dont you think its one thing to feel a girl up at least a few metres away, and another to do it a few centimetres right in front of my face? Cos i see that as a big difference. I see him with girls all the time and i wouldnt complain, i have no rights too and quite frankly dont care, but its more that it was right in front of my face seemed completely rude and unnecessary.

Its not that i expect a certain amount of respect after sex, its more that just in general, sex or no sex, i feel like if you're friends with someone they should show you the same level of respect you show them. Its not that i expected more, or for him to care about my feelings.. its just common courtesy to not ask a girl u hook up with to hook up with your friend a month later, and feel a girls ass directly in front of my face. I wouldnt even say i have an emotional connection, but whether i do or not i still see that behaviour as crossing the line.

Not even just discussing my situation, but this has happened to my friends too similar situations. When guys ask us if we'd hook up with their friends.. what part of their mind actually thinks we might say yes?! That is the real kicker for me that i just cant wrap my head around. And thats why i think part of them is just trying to mess with us.

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Originally Posted by ShellyZ [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Haha I'm a girl, sorry. I have no business in the Ask a Male forum, but seeing as how you got verbally kicked around by the first response, I thought I would offer another perspective.

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Ok haha oh well thanks for sharing your perspective too. I think guys and girls are just two completely different species sometimes.