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A few years back I was watching some day time 'news' show. They had a couple come on that were celebrating their 80th wedding anniversary! They asked them for the best tip for a long marriage and he said, quick as a flash "knowing when to shut up." :) Everyone had a good laugh, but I took that away with me as a precious gem.
What other goods tips have you heard for reaching forever with the one you love?
Showing care and compassion, understanding each other from the inside out and never betraying trust. Also you would usually have a feeling in your gut that you were born to be with that person, I feel like I am truly in love as well when I can feel safe and secure with that person
I've asked my Mum how they (Mum and Dad) made it together this long (nearly 40 years). She told me that it is humour, lots of laughter as well as knowing when to shut up. She also mentioned that the mood of the marriage is dependant on my Dad. If my dad were a serious guy, she would be a serious person as well. Lucky for her Dad is a bag full of joy and laughter, and we all grew up in a home full of laughter. I myself am married now and there's not a day goes by that both my wife and I do not laugh, no matter how small a thing it is.
Oh ya, she also mentioned to always kiss and make up before going to bed. Never bring today's problem tomorrow. It sure is helping me a lot with the wifey.
Cheers,
Allen
Wonderful tips Allen. I too think laughter is one of the big keys for making forever a reality. If you can't laugh, you cry and well that's no fun for anybody and I also agree with never go to bed angry too.
Never stop impressing each other.
Don't sweat the small stuff. Touch each other every day (this doesn't always mean sex). Hug, kiss, connect, care.
Don't be afraid of talking to each other. About anything. About everything.
and its companion:
Always listen to each other. About anything. About everything.
focussing on what you like about them and knowing when you're grumpy to get some space and calm before lashing out
... all the while, knowing when to shut up. :pQuote:
Originally Posted by devonbrown [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I find this one a hard one, on both sides. Talking about everything is difficult and I have learnt over time that some thoughts should be just kept to myself. :p
Listening is one of the hardest things to learn how to do properly. When you listen, properly listen, being detached is an important step. You must shut your own thoughts up and focus on what the other person is communicating. Not easy, but very important.
And everything is small stuff! :)Quote:
Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I agree that contact is very important, as is saying I love you everyday. I cannot let my partner or our son go to sleep without hearing I love you and being hugged. My mum wasn't big on expressing affection and I have had to work very hard to learn to. You can't feel connected without contact.
:)
No, somethings are important. Maturity means knowing the difference. The person who thinks everything is small stuff is no different from the person who thinks everything is an epic crisis. You can't responsibly place trust in such a person b/c it means they lack judgement.
Sure, a lot of things are important, but the things that are inclined to get you worked up can be broken down into small stuff. Most big stuff and just big piles of small stuff. So when I added it's all small stuff I wasn't meaning everything in the universe is unimportant, I meant everything you are likely to sweat is small stuff.
Do something everyday that shows you care.