New Clan - AoP

Ladies and Gentlemen --

Because I don't have moderation privledges...yet... I decided to post this into the Dating Talk section, because with this new clan, ace and I have decided to start a new clan:

Alliance of Pervs

Here to help you with NEW dating advice! Get sick of hearing "Try talking to her about it" or "Be yourself and she'll like you for who you are" yeah well to all of those people: **** YOU~!

The new advice given is something like this:

Quote:

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SomeLameAss: Listen.. I'm having a hard time getting a girlfriend.
LTsK8eR2gO: Who needs a girlfriend? Just grab some whore and **** her!
SomeLameAss: Wow! I've truly discovered my TRUE self now! Thank you so much AoP!

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To join, simply PM me and we'll get you signed up!

Alliance of Pervs

Quote:

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AnthonyCasta: I have this problem--she isn't returning my phone calls or anything!
ace: Why should she?
AnthonyCasta: Because I love her.
ace: No, you only THINK you do because you're being a stupid bitch right now! How about you go over to her house and **** her in the ass with lots of lube! I mean, that's the only thing you've wanted out of the relationship right? So, it seems like a good idea to me! What do you think, sk8er?
LTsK8eR2gO: HELL yeah! Go **** her before I do.
AnthonyCasta: Omgsh! Thank you guys SO much for your help! This is the GREATEST advice anybody has ever given me! Wow! I know who I truly am now! Here's $1,000 in cash to use for toilet paper.

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Dear AoP

I have a problem... there is this girl who is really hot, only she has 3 legs and she doesnt speak english. She keeps telling me "oglamesh" which I think is I love you in whatever language she speaks... I'm really getting attached to her.. but I'm not sure if the language barrier is going to come between us... and, you know... her third leg... what do you think I should do?

Answer this question:

Why the **** would you give a shit about her language when you shouldn't care about her name in the first place?! Just shove your dick in her mouth so you don't have to listen to anything.

Regarding her third leg... I think you can find chainsaws cheap at your local Sears shop.

OH THANK YOU AOP... I did what you said and she swallowed! not only that the stump where her third leg used to be has healed mostly and its hardly even noticeable! You have given me new hope!

it's always a pleasure to help :) who's next!

I know I'm part of the AoP and all.. but I was just wondering... My girlfriend won't let me feel her tits! What should I do?!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by LTsK8eR2gO

I know I'm part of the AoP and all.. but I was just wondering... My girlfriend won't let me feel her tits! What should I do?!

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be all like *BAM* and grab em' :smug:

Thank you! I tried it and she screamed like I have never heard her before. She instantly got down and started sucking my balls! Thank's man, you've helped a brother out :goofy:

Just thought I'ld post here, since none of the others have.
But then now I've come to making this post, I have absolutoly no idea what to say... :detective

Quote:

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Originally Posted by LucidDream

Just thought I'ld post here, since none of the others have.
But then now I've come to making this post, I have absolutoly no idea what to say... :detective:

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Here's a solution in 3 easy steps:

1) Get pregnant.
2) Ask ace or myself what you should do about this problem.
3) Come over to my house so I can be able to say "I've ****ed a pregnant woman before"

you guys are hilarious, but i have to say that i have a problem. My b/f is not spending enough time with me when i seriously think that he should cuz we would hav the house all to ourselves and my kid is gone! And i need some wips and chains kinda nookie, but the dam computer and buisness has been in my way what do u suggest i do?
A. throw him against the wall pull down his pants & suck on it like theres no tomorrow?
B. throw him on the bed and straddle him?
c. just take of my clothes kick everyone outta of the office and bend on over?

Im sick of this shit!!!! I wantsome damn attention dammit well that and some nookie.

ok well this is what you do. send him an email from work telling him

"ok tonight we're gonna **** whether you want it or not"

then, bring a gun home and stick it to his forehead. reassure him that you were serious in the email. now, if he complies, great--but keep the gun handy. if he doesn't want to, that's great to, but i don't think a corpse would be able to make the decision.

Ummm, unless I star in a sequil to Arnold Schwarzenegger's 'Junior', I don't see myself getting pregnant any time soon, lol.

Dear AoP,

My boyfriend doesn't take me out anymore. Is he losing interest?

Thanks,
Misombra