Troubles

Having a problem with Kendell. Since our decision to just remain friends I've been extremely melancholy. I feel lonely a lot of the time, I'm constantly bored when I'm home, and I have a hard time not thinking about her. I had an easy time getting over girls like Ashley and Megan but this is hard, I love this girl so much. It feels so much like what happened with me and Karli and it makes it that much harder. I didn't know how to deal with it then and I don't know how to deal with this now. The worst part is that I get depressed when I talk with her and she hears it and it makes her mad. I don't know how to keep from upsetting her and it's killing me to be such a burden on her. The thought has run through my head to just let her go but not only would it kill me but she wouldn't have it, she cares for me too much. I'm just tired of being the worst thing in her life. Any advice on how to deal with all this would help a lot, things haven't been so easy lately. :(

Zekk,

You sound like applepie's boyfriend.
I'm saying this for the hundredth time...You are SO focused on this girl, you probably wouldn't look at another one. That's not good, it leaves you helpless and vulnerable. If she were a bad person, she could really mess up your life - she has the power, obviously.

Try having fun with other girls, meeting new people, going to clubs. And soon you will see someone that you'll like even more. I know you are probably going, "That's not possible, I could never like anyone like her," but TRUST ME, you can. There is something that happens in ones brain when they are in love. It's like you are on drugs (I've never been on drugs, but I'm guessing), or drunk...the difference is, when you are drunk you have more control and better grasp on reality. One might argue, love is like a drug...but far stronger than any. Being in love as wonderful as it feels, can have the opposite effect and can make you hurt. Love in a way multiplies your feelings by a thousand and makes you more sensitive to everything - the highs are higher and lows are lower. What I'm trying to say to you is...and I'm sure your girl is wonderful...that you being in love with her have put her so high up there on the pedestal, that you forget totally about yourself and how much you have to offer...therefore totally underestimating your own value...and feeling like you are not worthy. It's a state of mind. Realize your value.

PS I'm hoping you'll take my post seriously :)

Even when I'm single I don't think much of myself. It's not that I don't like myself, I really do love who I am and who I've become, I just don't feel I need to focus on my needs. Just the thought of being completely selfless makes me feel good. I know it's possible to love another girl like her because this is the second time I've been in love. I just don't think I have the energy to start all over again with someone new. It's like I wish I could just stop feeling and have fun remaining single and celibant for my entire life, that would be nice. Love has seldom yielded positive results for me and I can't see it being anything but a let down in the future as well.

PS Thanks for your seriousness and insight. I really do appreciate it. :oriental:

When we're down in the dumps, all we see is darkness. All we feel is sadness and things seem hopeless. Happiness seems something our hearts and minds cannot comprehend at the time we feel low and confused. But then, cliche as it is, the only thing constant is change. Sooner or later, you see the silver lining, your sun shines again and you begin to smile and say, it's a beautiful day! :D
Both hardships and victories, happiness and sadness, failures and success are essential in life to make us grow. One without the other makes life meaningless. One without the other won't help us learn and grow.
Don't let one (or two) failed relationships distort you whole outlook in life and love. For as long as life exists, hope is eternal. Who knows? If it's not Kendell, it could be somebody else. ;)
Either ways, you will and can be happy :)