In a relationship, boyfriend acting very strange. I hurt.
The details: Homosexual relationship between two guys, my boyfriend is 21 and I'm 24. We met on a dating website at least a year and a half ago and talked sporadically, he seemed very interested in me. I eventually decided to agree to hang out with him sometime in December of 2010 and kicked it off from there.
Basically, my boyfriend's history is riddled with bad relationships. He's been abused, raped, cheated on. I felt bad for him and wanted to be the perfect boyfrend. Also, is morals seemed to be very strong as he repeatedly said cheating, to him, was the ultimate sin (hes a wiccan, I am not religious). So he seemed like a nice catch.
So we've been together for sx months. Everything, for the most part, is good. However, there were some rough spots. I yelled at him once in public, apologized, never did it again and I broke up with him once since I felt he really didn't love me. This changed however, as all he needed it seemed was time. I had to get use to his lifestyle, as he's a gothy-punk type of guy, extremely gorgeous, and tends to go to nightclubs with friends and very spontaneous.
However, he recently went to spend a weekend with one of his old high school friends. During this time, his contact with me became very difficult and he seemed distant. I didn't worry because I learned to trust him, and I tried my best to stay in contact, often messaging him over my phone and attempting to at least video cam. But his behavior changed drastically, as he seemed very distant, depressed, and overall just emotionally moot to me.
Suddenly, during his extended stay (after about two days in), he begins telling me how he thinks we'd be better off single and says that he feels like a deadbeat boyfriend, because he's unemployed and to school. I try to make him feel better by telling him that he's not a deadbeat and that I would not be better off without him. This type of stuff continues on for about two days.
At this point, he's extremely depressed and finally calls me (he doesn't have a cell phone, he had to use the house's phone to cal me). He's sobbing and crying, and finally tells me that one of his ex's happened to bump into him and ended up kissing my boyfriend. This suddenly makes a surge of feelings rise where he desires his ex but feels conflicted because he's with me. I tell him that it's OK as long as he didn't return the kiss, which he says he 'half-assed' back (Which he later changes to pursing his lips and not kissing at all). I basically tell him it's normal to have feelings for an ex, however those feelings are not, or should't be, the same as those he has for me. At which point he agrees.
He then begins to desperately attempt to find a way back home because he has no car and he's two-hours away from his mothers home, where he lives. Eventually, he returns after spending a week at the friend's house, and it is then when I finally get to meet him face-to-face.
It turns out two, his ex and he, had to share the bed in the basement because the owner of the house didn't have other locations to sleep. The friend doesnt own it, as the friend is living with her family and her boyfriend. And apparently on the last night, my boyfriend was sleeping/passed out and woke up to find his ex giving him a blowjob, to his pure shock. At this point, his ex tries to make out with him and he tells the ex to stop and that apparently he is now a cheater due to this.
My boyfriend cries and cries, I get upset, but I forgive him. And my boyfriend and I spend the next two days (including today) basically trying to spend time together to mend the relationship. He agrees what he did was stupid, selfish, etc and he won't do it again.
I managed to get ahold of his phone though and read his messages during the week. It seemed after the first day of spending he night there, when his ride home bailed on him, he ran into his ex. From there, the two seemed to have a liking towards eachother...and what hurts he most is that while I desperately trying to talk to my boyfriend, my boyfriend was practically showering this ex with more attention and affection, through spicy texts, than he was to me...He was even doing little things such as *kisses* and the ilk, which totally confuses me because this is so out of the blue. I just can't grasp it because I don't follow the logic.
My boyfriend professes that he never had sex or similar with his ex. But I'm really confused. It doesn't necessarily hurt anymore as much as it does confuse me, and I don't know if I can really trust him...but I want to move on and be with him. I don't know if I should believe him or what. And it's so random and out of the blue..that he just suddenly has feelings for an ex which far surpass anything for me.
And it's not as if I'm a bad boyfriend. I've never cheated on anyone, I practically shower my boyfriend with gifts, and have done so many things to brighten up his day. Just before this, I bought my boyfriend a brand-new netbook for him.
So seriously, what the **** :l?
Note: All I can think is that he got carried away, made a terrible stupid mistake, and got piled on my guilt. And he wishes he could go back in time and prevent everything from happening. He wants me to forget about it and wants to move on with our relationship. He feels really depressed still, but says it's because he feels undeserving of me for what he did. He's trying to make things right, and never wants to go the friend's house ever again or hang out with them. And he says he wants to break contact with the ex. And he says he will never do anything like it ever again.
