Break up for college opportunity, or stay with him?
My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 2 years. We've had a bumpy relationship, but we've (sort of) worked it out.
I currently have no job, and prospects are not looking good, San Diego's job market sucks. I go to school full time (pre-nursing right now, so it's all upper level science) and I honestly can't have a job while I'm going to school because my classes are HARD. I've been living off of unemployment, but that will run out in a few months. I am only qualified for entry level positions or working with kids, both employment options do't pay much so I'd barely cover gas. My mom helps me out a lot so that I can live on my own and go to school. My boyfriend also helps out, but we live in a giant house with roomates that he sublets out to, so he's barely got any rent to pay.
My mom is moving to Portland at the beginning of summer, and she wants me to go with her. We're really close (she was a single mom, my dad isn;t in the picture), and never been apart from each other. She's an experienced director of nursing and already has multiple job offers up there. If she worked at one of the nursing schools (which she wants to do) I'd get a.) priority admission b.) lowered admission fees. Which is good, because I'm paying for college myself. Where I am currently located, there arn't really great options for nursing school....none of them offer masters programs, and I want to be a Nurse Practitioner (which requires a master) and an infectious disease specialist (offered in Oregon).
I don't know how I could support myself if I stayed with my boyfriend, and I'm not really sure that being with him would be the best for my career path.
He smokes alot of weed. And then drives my car and leaves it in my car. Then when I drive my car, if I get pulled over and get a possession charge, I will NEVER be able to become a licensed nurse. I won't pass a department of justice background check. I refuse to smoke/ingest any of that crap, but everyone else in the house does.
And this was the game changer for me. Last summer, I found out that I was 14 weeks pregnant and having a complete miscarriage, and probably needed to go into surgery because I was hemorrhaging pretty bad (I ended up avoiding surgery, but lost so much blood I was admitted to the hospital). When I told him, he said oh that sucks and I'm sorry, then went to a concert (that he's seen for the last 5 years in a row) with his best girlie friend and left me at my moms house. Alone. And to this day, he sees nothing wrong with that.
He also doesn't have a car, and will spend $60 a week on weed, but not save up for a car. So I'm like his chauffeur. And from me constantly having to drive EVERYWHERE, my poor car is starting to have serious mechanical issues (which my poor mother is paying for until I can pay her back, or make it up to her by cleaning her house)
Despite his shortcomings and being inconsiderate, we get along like 2 peas in a pod. I've never been with someone that can make me laugh as hard. We have tons of fun adventures, and we both like to get out and do new things.
I don't know what to do. I love him, but I'm worried from past happenings that if anything big happened to me, that he's leave me again. And I won't have my mom here this time.
And the opportunities for me in Oregon will be much better, with better schools and the lower cost of living so I might actually have a chance of supporting myself.
Should I stay with him or go with my mom? I don't know.
