I'm a collected thinker and usually see, but this lady makes my head spin!!
We've been dating just short of three months now.
I knew her since high school, moved out of state for several years, came back and she went from tomboy/butch look to something incredibly beautiful. We weren't really in contact during my duration gone until I came back and found her on a social networking site.
Before me, this beautiful woman dated someone she wasn't even attracted to for two years. She stayed with him out of loneliness, pity.. and her excuse is that 'he made her laugh'. After they separated, she became a house hermit for a while until I stumbled by out of nowhere.
This is the type of woman that was severely abused in the past, neglected and also has serious problems regarding abortions. There were three abortions before her, and she wonders with how much thick history she had behind her life whey she wasn't the fourth. She sees a therapist because of this (though she is not suicidal).
Because of her rough life, she developed a fairly thick shell. On the outside, she is very cocky, guy-like in certain ways, still a tomboy, and always 'hard to get'. On the inside, she is extremely sensitive with an ego that could easily bruise. I found this out quickly upon going out with her due to little hints such as her affinity to deep music, poetry and her aspirations to become a writer.
Once, I confidently pointed out that I had a part of her figured out, and laid out things she was looking for inside a man; things that she would never admit verbally. I was correct judging by the baffled look on her face after my 'analysis' was done.
Aside from all this serious-looking stuff, most of our nights out are laid back and fun. We play lots of pool, bowl, eat out, hit bars, anything fun for the night.
There's a problem with all this though! And as much as I've dated in the past, this one is so tough that I thought I'd give this site a try.
The ONLY time I actually got a real kiss from her was when she was pub-hopping with her friend. After I got off work, I came by as the designated driver. She was getting followed by a creepy guy whom she couldn't shake. When I stopped by, I simply turned her around, gave a smile and a hug, then made out with her to make the stalker turn his head away and leave. Other than this, nothing! I found out that either she's extremely shy or she just doesn't have interest in me in that term.
It doesn't make sense however.. since recently she admitted that she was falling for me. But.. her actions just do not reinforce her claims. No, I'm not looking for sex. But.. couldn't a guy ask for a kiss?
I tease her sometimes. Often times she'll 'jokingly' say that she was going to make me fall head over heels for her. I grin and reply that it'd be awful hard if she never even advanced in to kiss me. Ever since that, maybe I'll get a small peck on the lips every now and then. Still disappointing.. and I don't mean to sound like a jerk; I think it's not much to ask for.
It doesn't stop there however...
Seldom texts.. good mornings maybe every once in a while, 30min - 4 hour delayed responses, 90% of the time I'm the one asking her out.. there's a bit more but I'll just leave it at that.
How can someone who claims to be falling for me show so little?
I even tried switching things up! It went from me texting her good mornings every mornings and asking her out frequently to not texting her at all until she gets me first, and finding other hobbies to occupy myself so I wouldn't get itches to ask her out.
Push-pull theory: You want what you can't have, one pushes the other pulls. I tried to make it seem that I was getting busier and busier (which I have been), and nothing. No response to my change.
Am I merely being toyed with? My vision's pretty sharp on these types of matters.. but this lady gives off too many mixed signals.
I need advice!!!
If worse came to worse, I'd have a serious chat with her about it.. but I wouldn't want to sound so needy. So instead, I'm trying all these little things to inch her closer (though she claims she's close already)
And yes, I am being me and completely me when I'm around her!
Thank you in advance for your input folks. :)
