Negativity ruining relationship

I'm not sure specifically what advice I should ask for, it seems like any efforts I make worsen the situation rather than help it.

A little background, we met a little longer than a 2 years ago and it was hot from the get-go. She asked me out. We hooked up on our first date which isnt typical, but we spoke openly about it and at the 4 week point of our mostly physical relationship she tried to break it off. As it turned out she was still in the midst of a divorce and had some major finanial issues and really didnt want to open up about it. When I told her how much she meant to me and that I wasnt willing to stop the relationship without a fight, we really kicked it to the next level and moved in with each other 3 months later. That was followed by a genuinely fulfilling relationship, we talked about everything, & we had lots of great sex.

She got out of her home on a short sale which should have been a major relief. After some issues at work and right when we started having to pay rent again, she quit her job without having another lined up. I have never hit her between the eyes with it because I think she needs more support than anything else, but I cant help but think she shoul dhave spoken to me about it because only by the luxury of my income was she really able to leave her job. You;d think you'd mention the burden coming my way.

It's been 6 months since she's worked, I and have shelled out a lot of money, which I think is ok because it really lets me know that I can carry us when/if we decide to have a child. The problem is that she is so negative about herself and takes every job rejection as if she just isnt good enough, and it is starting to bleed into the relationship. She flys off the handle at the most mundane things, our sex life has dried up to the point of nothing (unless I beg and let me tell you no sex is better psychologically than "fine, whatever just hurry" sex). Worse, it's almost like she's come to resent me for supporting her, like I'm this rosy shaded glasses guy telling her everything is going to be fine as the plane veers full speed into the mountain. I simply say things, like, "to you its a personal rejection to them it is just another of probably 100 resumes they didnt push through. Keep at it, dont beat yourself up about it and stop with the "all Im qualified to be is a gas station attendant" attitude." Specifics aside, I have become the easy target for her anxiety over the whole situation.

I called today, maybe selfishly, to test the waters to see if intimacy was on the table. I;d have slid home in a second for some afternoon delight. I worked out hard atthe gym today, work is stressful, and I could really use some quality time with my lady if you know what I mean. Well I find her in a pit of despair over an automated rejection email she got from a bank she applied to, try to let her talk about it a little but it just went the route of self deprecation, so I dropped it. Then she got irate with me like I called and brought it up just to bring her down. The intended, "cant stop thinking about you, Im getting nothing done here because of it, I need you NOW," call never got off the ground floor. I am so deflated because I know tonight is going to be another, dinner, whats on TV, ok time to sleep night.

She can be very stubborn to the point where if she takes offense to something you are shut out, period, point, blank. For example the other night I spent an hour on the phone trying to get the internet faster (at her request because she's on it all day) and after all that time found that a wire had been moved. I needed to let her know, so it didnt happen again, but also knew she is inclined to take offense at any turn so I carefully formed my words in such an inoffensive and non-blaming way (almost singsong really) and bam, she wouldnt talk to me for the rest of the night because I was being condesending and blaming. When she blew up on me after I tried so hard to not conduct myself in a way anyone could take offense to, I got a little upset and told her she has some internal issues she needs to address. May as well have told her I slept with her Mom.

I'm really at the point where I'm thinking I should consider getting out of the relationship. It is hard to try so much to get along with someone only to have them throw everything back in your face. I am incredibly stressed at work, I find no quarter when I get home, and I'm getting killed financially thinking it is the context of investing in our future. If it was just the state of things now it would be an easier decision, but it was so good up until this job thing started and I was literally just waiting out the divorce finalization before I asked for her hand.

I know that men and women apply different values on sex, but the complete lack of is killing me. It's especially bad because my doc put me on testosterone supplements, so I have the libido (and stamina) of an 18 year old. You'd think at some point the simple novelty of that would pique her interest, but Im still relegated the get it over with attitude I mentioned before.

I really dont want to be the guy who runs when the going gets tough, but the going isnt what is getting to me, its the majorly depressed attitude and unwillingness to even recoginze it as the problem that it is.

In the interest of honesty, the relationship is good 90% of the time, the other 10% is composed of her negativity and mine as well (work has been especially tough to deal with lately). For me, the lack of sex is the main sign that there is something really wrong. I feel crazy neglected and have had every rational and irrational thought in the book (is it me, is it someone else, are you not in love but because you have no work you need me to support you, are you having early menopause, do you smoke too much dope, etc).

How would you recommend I approach her with this? And, as a man, is there something I may be completely not considering that could be a part of this?