How far is too far?

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19-05-11, 05:05 AM
Shodex

How far is too far?

Hello, this is my first post on this forum. I just really needed help. But before I begin I want to mention that the problem I'm going to talk about does not involve me directly, it is about my best friend and her train wreck of a breakup.

We're in High School, my best friend (who I will refer to as "A", for privacy's sake) and her boyfriend (I'll call Z) have been dating for 11 months. A really likes Z, she finds him funny, cute, etc. But Z gets under her skin when he's with a group, he tries to be funny but ends up being rude and obnoxious. Me and Z are good friends at this point.

But a trivial fight between me and Z happen, and Z decides I'm not his friend any more. A is my best friend, she takes my side, which makes Z angry. Thus begins the downfall. Every time A tries to talk about her problems with him he shuts her up and she's had enough.

March comes along, by this time A has determined she doesn't want to be with Z any more. She's also found a new man who she really likes (I'll call him T). T also likes her back. A is "shy" for lack of a better word, she doesn't want to hurt Z. She doesn't want to be with him but they're still close. So she postpones the breakup until after March break, since he's on holiday.

During this time, her and T (who are good friends at this point) hangout more. Since she's bored and needs somebody available. They both really, really like each other. One thing lead to another and suddenly they're both half naked. I don't agree with her actions but I can understand that it wasn't at all intended.

March break is over, A has realized that they're no going back now. She breaks up with Z and less than a week later starts dating T. Everything was fine, until Z started using Tumblr. He lost his girlfriend and all his other friends because of this and is very angry.

Now, I'd like to point out that A is the kind of girl who gets really upset when people think wrongly of her. She also isn't one to cry for no reason. The things he said over Tumblr, the private conversations he uploaded, the sheer amount of hatred directed towards her put her in to tears. She, even now months later, still loses sleep and he still makes more posts. She's getting to school late, she's up all night reading through it and though she says, "I'm fine." I know her too well to believe it. And I can't sit buy and watch her tear herself apart.

This is why I come to you, I understand Z has every right to be mad. What she did was very, very wrong and she knows that. But how far is too far? Is publicly slandering somebody and throwing them in to a state of near depression a acceptable response? And as her friend, I feel like I should do something, I've tried talking to him and it didn't help at all, is there anything I can do besides tell her to move on?

Thanks a billion and a half,
Will
19-05-11, 10:22 AM
smackie9

She needs to make an appointment to see a school counselor and to report this harassment to the principal. This is bullying, and it shouldn't be tolerated.
19-05-11, 11:30 AM
Shodex

Thanks, I'll tell her this next time she mentions it. I don't want to bring it up because she can go from a good mood and come crashing down at the near mention of it all.
19-05-11, 11:52 AM
Shodex

Her are some posts from his Tumblr, very recent ones, just to give you an idea about how much hatred he's displaying.

Quote:

Hey, here’s a thought.

Maybe if you hadn’t been that, I wouldn’t have said it.

Honestly. You can’t expect to do that, and me be completely fine with it.

What would you rather me do darling? It was that or I was going to physically abuse that sex god that you’re dating.

By physically abuse I mean brutally massacre.

You destroyed my heart. Annihilated it.

As I type this, I backspace very often because I’m literally shaking at the thought of you.

I feel no regret for what I said, frankly, I think you deserved much worse. I’m just not low enough to deliver.

Maybe because I still have feelings for you aswell.

The anger overpowers them.

Quote:

If he’s not a sex-god then why’d you let him finger you after breaking up with me, hm?

Or how about sucking his dick somewhere around less than 2 weeks after that?

HM?

You say you just want me to be happy.

If that were true, then you would have thought about what you were doing.

You would have been strong enough to tell that ****ing asshat to back off for a bit.

Also, get used to people hating you.

I mean, if you’re going to lie about almost everything, why wouldn’t they?

Also I’m pretty sure you told people your side of the story.

Yeah, you must have, because they told me.

Come down off your high pedestal you narcissistic bitch lady.

Quote:

How have I broken you?

WHAT DID I DO?

I went to almost all of your hockey games, you never once told me I had too. I went and spent time with your family, I never had too. Hell, I even helped you babysit your cousin, who let me remind you you HATE.

I went out of my way to make everything perfect for you on your birthday when nobody else did. I even made you my priority on my own birthday, just because I wanted you to have a nice Christmas.

I had even already planned what we were going to do for our one year.

Obviously this means nothing to you.

Quote:

That’s bullshit and we both know it.

He said you liked him since December.

Why didn’t you end it then.

You need to quit lying. Now that I’m not infatuated by you your ugly is showing.

This is quotes he uploaded from a conversation they had over text, she was attempting to apologize, get this over with. Naturally, none of her texts have been uploaded.

I used to have serious anger management problems, I spent 10 years of my life on medication, going through therapy, counselling, etc. And I haven't had the desire to physically hurt somebody for a good 3 years, but if it weren't for laws I swear this jerk would be in pieces.

I think if she doesn't talk to somebody, I might.