sympathy or back handed comment?

I had surgery recently and emailed my son to let him know I was ok (he is 3) and for his mom to tell him, she is my ex. We dont talk, we dont communicate, she dumped me and it has taken a while to get over her.

The email was directed at my son and for him only. The EX emailed me back saying "Thank you for the update. Despite everything I was thinking about you and wondering how you were. Glad to hear you are doing ok."

I didnt ask for this, all I wanted was my son to know Im ok. "Despite everything"? She BROKE my heart!! Why say things like that?

I didnt respond but it upset me, enough to post this.

Any ideas what she is doing?

Your son is three. I would be very shocked to hear he was thinking about your surgery at all, not because of any other reason than he simply doesn't have the ability to comprehend what is going on. I think you sent that note with the intent your ex would react, and she did. So what's the problem? It sounds like she was being genuinely compassionate. Just accept it, and move on.

Yep, how can you expect a 3 year old to comprehend what is going on. Of course she would read it...i would be amazed if a 3 year old knew how to open and read an email!!!!

Sounds genuine to me, the "despite everything" probably meant that she knows she hurt you so wanted you to know she does care. Why are you making a big deal out of this?

No, I am sorry, I should have said I send my ex emails to talk to my son. I dont expect him to understand but the message is for him, she would tell him Daddy is ok. I didnt want her response. Thats what I am getting at. She responded with words that were uneccesary.

I think you're nuts. What's she supposed to do? Nothing? You'd probably then make a post whining about how you didn't get a reply. Her reply sounds perfect and sincere.

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It sounds nothing but genuine to me.

The way you have worded this makes it sound as though you feel that your ex is being nosy: injecting her own feelings into correspondence that was meant only for your son. But your son is too young to respond, and surgery is serious business. She must have loved you, once, and she is at least expressing that she bears you no ill will (gracefully and tactfully I might add).

or maybe she was assuming you were finding a way to contact her....

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Originally Posted by Toddstar [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

No, I am sorry, I should have said I send my ex emails to talk to my son. I dont expect him to understand but the message is for him, she would tell him Daddy is ok. I didnt want her response. Thats what I am getting at. She responded with words that were uneccesary.

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You sent it to HER email account, yes? I assume your 3-year old isn't checking his own email. She will respond however she thinks is appropriate from her account.

Control issues, much?

I think you are just over-analyzing. Let it go. She did and you didn't want her to do so; end of story. Also it shows that she loved you and when you loved somebody you just don't say anything when you know that the person had a surgery. It looks like you wouldn't do the same for her.