Epitome Of Cowardice.

Hey guys, I really feel like shit because I'm stuck on the childish level of not having the guts to ask girls out face to face. It's silly, but I've never been the most confident guy (although I'm working really hard to be one). Today one of my friends enthusiastically ran up to me and told me how he asked a good looking girl out randomly on the school hallway and she accepted. Now that I think about it it made me totally feel like crap since I always rely on fb, or sms, which I know is just simply immature and spineless (just reflects "no confidence") and most probably pays off alot less than irl asking out. I admit all this, yet I lack the confidence in fear of rejection. In the past year, I've been rejected four times but also been hit on by the same amount, but it really doesn't help me out much. Dealing with rejection is a nightmare, and I have quite a load of trauma concerning it (I tend to take it too personally).

So if anyone out there could relate and virtually punch the cowardice out of me, I'd be extremely grateful. Oh, fyi I'm turning seventeen soon and studying in upper-secondary school.

Thanks!

Sucks to be a guy. Girls rarely get rejected (at least initially).

Couple of pieces of advice my dad gave me when I was a teen to help me with the same problem:

1. You can't get the girl if you don't ask.

2. What's the worst she can do? Say no? If she does, so what? There are more of them than there are of us.

And a final one I gave to my little brother when he was a teenager and wanted to know how to tell if a girl was interested at all:

Look her right in the eyes - look NOWHERE else!

And smile.

If she smiles back, you have a chance. Risk asking her out.

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Originally Posted by Randomness [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Hey guys, I really feel like shit because I'm stuck on the childish level of not having the guts to ask girls out face to face. It's silly, but I've never been the most confident guy (although I'm working really hard to be one)... ...I'm turning seventeen soon and studying in upper-secondary school.

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Relax, you are only 17, I know I started late, but I can't think of many people I knew who were "good" at asking women out then, even later in life. It takes practice. Use thingss like FB, AIM, etc to further conversation, there is so much communication now that replaced the one phone call a night in the past.

Look at rejection as "I'm glad I asked" instead of going to bed thinking "I should have...". In HS I randomly asked a few chicks out and got shot down, finally found one to go to the prom with me (small school, but fairly random person), but it took EFFORT, didn't just "happen" like some say it will.

Trying to be more confident around women was my goal too, in fact still working on it.

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Originally Posted by sadie_genie [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Sucks to be a guy. Girls rarely get rejected (at least initially).

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Yeah, because guys will have sex with anything. I am not sure which sex has it easier.

I tell chick friends of mine: "Don't give him what he wants until you get what you want" , from then on he will only do the bare minimum to get laid, expect no more.

Man im in my thirties and ive been rejected countless times, but ive also been successful countless times. I am successful with women compared to most people I know. Suck it up man, life is about taking risks and getting out there.

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Originally Posted by Randomness [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Hey guys, I really feel like shit because I'm stuck on the childish level of not having the guts to ask girls out face to face. It's silly, but I've never been the most confident guy (although I'm working really hard to be one). Today one of my friends enthusiastically ran up to me and told me how he asked a good looking girl out randomly on the school hallway and she accepted. Now that I think about it it made me totally feel like crap since I always rely on fb, or sms, which I know is just simply immature and spineless (just reflects "no confidence") and most probably pays off alot less than irl asking out. I admit all this, yet I lack the confidence in fear of rejection. In the past year, I've been rejected four times but also been hit on by the same amount, but it really doesn't help me out much. Dealing with rejection is a nightmare, and I have quite a load of trauma concerning it (I tend to take it too personally).

So if anyone out there could relate and virtually punch the cowardice out of me, I'd be extremely grateful. Oh, fyi I'm turning seventeen soon and studying in upper-secondary school.

Thanks!

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Unless your are super hot or super popular at school, asking out random chicks is very low percentage. You will do much better to start to do things that put you in repeated contact with girls that allow them to get to know you a bit before you make your moves on them.

Can I just clarify what you guys mean by "asking out"? Give me an example of what might be said.

Being a guy, means to be rejected. Yep, it's the cold truth. Accept it now. What you need to focus on actually is turning the experience of being rejected into a positive one. A positive outcome is you will feel confident that at least you tried. Nothing is worse than regretting you didn't give it a shot, because you never know what could of been. Another thing is learning from mistakes. Pay attention to what you are doing when trying to ask a girl out. Did you look her in the eye? Did you stutter? Were you slouching? Being rejected allows you to identify your pantomime mistakes, and fix them next time.

Don't ever think that a girl (or a person) is too good for you. Don't place girls on a pedestal, they're people with individual needs, wants, desires, fears, etc. Just like you. To reduce the chance of being rejected, by getting to know a girl a little bit before hand. Ask her about hobbies, interests, etc. See if she jives with you. There's a possibility you'll find out the girl you like is really some self-absorbed dullard. Then you just dodged a bullet.

Finally, be yourself. Don't ever change yourself for anyone, no matter if it is to appease some pretty lass. Now this does not mean to never grow up and never mature. It means if you're a guy who likes movies but not art museums, don't be afraid to state this. You can keep an open-mind, but just be honest with her and yourself.