3 month relationship - then break up after vacation
Hey Guys
So i met this girl at a party back in January. we connected really well, made out and two days later we had a date. On the date we didnt kiss nor hug nor anything. But there was a certain chemistry going on and both of us knew it drove us nuts. It was already late and I “accidently” missed my last train home. So she invited me to stay at her place for the night. we had to work the next day and despite of that, she asked me to watch a movie ....so then we had sex.
From that point on, we went on some dates together. we really had a great vibe going on. i didnt feel ready for a relationship though. But after like a month, she asked me if i would join her to spend a week with her on vacation. I thought, why not, i really liked her, potentially i could love her. So I agreed.
So all of her signs for starting a relationship were green. She was fantastic! I really could tell, this woman has fallen deeply in love with me. And the more I spent time with her, the more I wanted to be in a relationship with her. She introduced me to her family and friends, told me very intimate stuff etc etc. For my part, I did the same. So after one month of dating, we made it official that we were together.
So we knew each other for roughly two months and suddenly things changed a bit. It was beginning of April and our vacation, which we already booked was in beginning of May.
I must say, that we both had busy lives so we didn’t really see ourselves more than twice a week….which wasn’t a bad thing for the both of us. But of course, the longer I was with her, the more I wanted to spend time with her.
Now during the month of april, she didn’t really call me too often or write me any texts (we didnt really do this kind of stuff a lot, and she even appreciated it from the very beginning). She didn’t “flirt” with me anymore or gave me the same signs of interest in what was going on in my life like before. The sex was actually great, but it drew back drastically (once she was too tired, then she had her “girly days”, the other time she just wasn’t in the mood).
Then our vacation came. We had planned a trip to Rome and Amsterdam (5 days) The Trip went actually really well. It was really romantic and everything. But I felt that something had gone seriously wrong. I had more of a feeling I was traveling with a good friend than with my girl and I knew this all came from her side. Man, we only had sex twice!!! There was some slight tension in the air between us, so I didn’t bother to ask, just to not break up during our vacation.
After our vacation, all what I was thinking was, why didn’t she want to sleep with me anymore when everything was great?
Some days past until she called me. “We need to talk”…….so then she broke up with me. Reason was that, she just didn’t love me and without that feeling of love, she had no interest in staying in this relationship. She was hoping for the love to come in our vacation, but it didn’t. She said, she wish it could be just like in the beginning when we weren’t commited to ourselves.
A week later (a week without any contact), we met for a drink. I didn’t give her any signs, how heartbroken I was. We didn’t talk about our relationship at first and we had lots of fun catching up. Then later on we did talk but not for too long. She said, that she would love to be best friends, as she doesn’t want to lose me. I said, well, we could meet again and see what happens, but I don’t see a friendship coming (because I will always want her). She said, yes, that could or could not happen. We should keep contact. After two hours (our “talk” only lasted like 10-15 min), I told her I had to leave, cuz I had something going on later with my friends. That surprised her, cuz she thought I would hang out with her for the rest of the evening. She said, she will invite me later that week to a party, so she will call. Also, she will upload some fotos to facebook from our vacation (that will make her think about us…I hope)
That was a week ago now and I haven’t heard from her since. I feel like someone ripped my heart out. I didn’t believe I was in love until she broke up with me. I drove me crazy the past two weeks, so I scanned the internet for advice. I got my hands on a copy of this book “Ex2 System – Matt Houston”. At first, I thought it was a rip-off. But I thought it could help so I read it. Lots of things suddenly made sense. I figured the more and more I wanted from my girlfriend the more I pushed her away from me, without ever noticing. I made myself unattractive to her. I wasn’t “a man” anymore, I slowly turned into a “friend”. I always let her lead our relationship, do the decisions, didn’t show my own initiative. I more and more acted like a loyal dog.
So, now what am I doing? Luckily, I intuitively did the exact stuff as in the book (I read it last weekend) During the meet up, I didn’t beg her to come back, accepted her reasons (which confused her), acted cheerful and upbeat. I didn’t initiate contact and so I am just waiting and trying to get over the break up by building up self esteem/confidence, going out, keeping myself busy.
I know she will contact me some day. I guess, that she will want to see me again, but as friends and I fear that she expects that im over her and ready for a friendship…. Of course I will be over her by then, but I will not want to have a friendship. I will be wanting her again!
What do you think? Do you think, she will maybe change her mind when we will see us again? Or do you thing all is lost?
She told me that, she really saw someone special in me. I was actually perfect. With me, she has had everything she ever wanted in a relationship. But she just didnt fall in love with me…..do you think, she said that just to not make me feel bad or hurt my self esteem?
