Obviously NOT over her.

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06-06-11, 04:52 AM
Toddstar

Obviously NOT over her.

I saw my ex on friday for the first time in about 40 days, we did the pick up drop off for our son. I also had my daughter from a previosu relationship years ago (my son is 3, my daughter is 12). The pickup Friday was great, she gave me a longing look (so I thought it was) as Ileft the parking lot and then even texted 20 minutes later saying how she apologized for being late. I texed back "no problem! Have a great weekend!" She replied the same.

Today I dropped of our son and my ex had her youngest daughter with her; I talked to her daughter...MAN I was soooo happy to see her! Its been months, 6 months since I have seen her kids and it really made me happy. REALLY happy. I treated her kids like they were my own. I miss them dearly. I dropped off my sons stuff and got back in my truck and my ex had a look on her face as to say hey I wanted to talk but at that point it was too late.

I texted her recently to say that I really liked seeing her daughter and it made my day. And that I miss my son. She texted back saying she thought I would be angry for her bringing one of the kids as she thought it would upset me. That her daughter often asks to come but me ex always says no because she doesnt want to upset me.

I almost threw up. The fact is, I THOUGHT I was over my ex, but I am NOT! And the fact is she is over me, OBVIOUSLY, and I cant handle it. Maybe I am reading to much into this. But I DO still love her. WTF! i should be WAY over her, I am sure she is WAY over me. Why am I wasting my beautiful Sunday afternoon thinking about this?

Please help.
06-06-11, 05:01 AM
KelE

Wow!! that sucks when you have kids together. I don't know how people do it. You have to open up that wound over and over and over. There is no way around it. But I think eventually the wound heals to a point that it is manageable. That's what you have to hope for. Obviously, if everytime you get your hopes up and you end up getting your feelings hurt again, your subcontience will finally start telling you to let it go. If that is the right thing to that is.
06-06-11, 05:04 AM
Toddstar

It DOES suck! Its really like reopening every two weeks! But i'm the one that hurts, she just carrys on. Honestly, if there is a way to do this, I would really like to know. Its the hardest thing I have ever done. And I've done some hard things in my life.
07-06-11, 06:34 PM
flynhayn

Quote:

Honestly, if there is a way to do this, I would really like to know. Its the hardest thing I have ever done. And I've done some hard things in my life.

I know I'm sounding like a broken record right now, but the only way to do it is to do it. No tricks, substitutes, or anything else that makes you runaway from the pain instead of facing it... and you'll eventually have to face it anyway so just work through it now.

One thing I've always believed is that you're body compensates for repetition, both physically and mentally. For example, when you lift weights long enough your body builds muscle to make it easier to lift that weight.... hence the reason why we keep increasing the weight, otherwise we would just be able to lift that same amount over and over and over again. So with emotions, your body does the same thing. If you keep working through the pain your body will compensate and slowly make it easier to handle. Eventually, it will be nothing.