Hello guys I am desperatly in need of some opinions

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06-06-11, 03:25 PM
Vert

Hello guys I am desperatly in need of some opinions

well let me start by giving all the details...
i moved in with my dad at age 15 and got kicked out at age 17 because my sister and i went to the mall and came home 10:30 which my dad found unacceptable. I am currently a senior in college and during my freshman year i met my bf who i am still dating i suppose. since i got kicked out by my dad i haven't really have a steady home so basically during "school breaks" i would either stay with a friend or try to stay with a family member but recently my bf parents has invited me to their home and told me it was okay if i wanted to stay with them. Recently my bf starts to have a problem with me staying over his place, he stated that i was invading his personal space and it seems like i am secretly trying to move in. he told me that i need to go stay with a family member because its not like am homeless. when he stated that i felt so hurt, because the one person that i thought would really care about me doesn't want me around and even though it happens few weeks ago i still think about it and feel hurt and gets angry all over again.

We have been arguing a lot lately and whenever we argue he ask for a 'break" from the relationship. He recently ended the relationship and told me that it was too stressful for him and he is not ready to deal with all this arguing. few days ago he told me that he consider us being "on break" rather than being "single" and when we get back to school in August he would like to give this relationship another try. I feel like he his confused and is playing with my emotions at the same time. It seems to me that he wants a relationship but doesn't want to deal with the whole baggage:(
he still calls me "babe" etc and tell me that he loves me. I just don't know if i should take him seriously, move on and wish him the best of luck in finding a partner that he doesn't have to argue with or give him his space while we are on break and sees what happen when we meet up again in the fall?
am feeling really hurt it seems as if he is only thinking about his feelings and i am getting tired of him running away whenever there is an argument...am lost
06-06-11, 03:29 PM
Drumzzz

i think he's a bit overwhelmed by you moving in with him
if i had a GF who told me to move in with me i think i'd react the same way
you both still need some freedom and by moving in together you almost don't get any
06-06-11, 03:41 PM
Bonfire

Considering your situation, he is pretty insensitive. I can understand why you are upset. I would gladly share space with my gf if she needs a place.
06-06-11, 04:17 PM
surfhb

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bonfire [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Considering your situation, he is pretty insensitive. I can understand why you are upset. I would gladly share space with my gf if she needs a place.

Why? He wants his space. You're not married so he has every right to feel this way. Why don't you get a place of your own.? I mean I went to college and had 6 roommates. WTF are you living with your bf while going school is the question.

I mean....seriously! 2 21 yr olds living together under my parents roof? That would stress me out.
06-06-11, 04:34 PM
Bonfire

Quote:

Originally Posted by surfhb [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Why? He wants his space. You're not married so he has every right to feel this way. Why don't you get a place of your own.? I mean I went to college and had 6 roommates. WTF are you living with your bf while going school is the question.

I mean....seriously! 2 21 yr olds leaving together under my parents roof. That would stress me out.

You don't have to be married to want to be there for someone. If you are in a relationship, I assume you care enough about them to want to help them out. It's not about what's right or what's wrong, it's about what's more important to you.
06-06-11, 04:47 PM
Boisdevie

He wants a 'break' = relationship is doomed
06-06-11, 10:37 PM
Davie-boy

seems like you have been let down down in the past by the most important man in your life, your dad. Could this mabey mean you cling to your bf a bit to much? Everybody needs their space. Does he fully inderstand the 'baggage' as you put it? If you dont have anywhere to go I hope he dosnt make you leave. Talk it over holding nothing back, dont take a break though, thats just a tem used when one person want to get out of it but the other person cant let go.
07-06-11, 01:47 AM
Wakeup

Quote:

consider us being "on break" rather than being "single" and when we get back to school in August he would like to give this relationship another try.

Yea right. So he has a steady piece of tale until he's decided he's completely done with you. Bloody nerve he's practically telling you to **** off for the summer while I get to go play around and back burner you until I need you around for more of the goods.

My dear: Move out of his home, he does not want you there and I have to say; what in the world were his parents thinking by inviting you there without discussing it with their son and getting his thoughts on it first? And, what were you thinking without asking him if he was cool with the idea... WTH?

Anyway my advice is for you to move out of his home, move in with one of your relatives as a last resort. Preferably; find a room to rent with a bunch of other students as someone up there previously mentioned. Once you are out on your own, not living or relying on your boyfriend so much, you've made new bonds with your roomies I seriously think you may just realize that you don't want him as much as you just fear being without him.

Leave him alone and find yourself. Your independence and learn to be happy in your own skin... He's just fluff and I get the impression he thinks you're just filler until schools done.
07-06-11, 02:22 AM
qwertz

He wants his space, this is not unreasonable, you should find somewhere else to say, he probably didnt mean it to be cruel, but he's not ready to live with you, especially when it is forced. You should not have accepted the invitation to stay there unless it came from him.

The relationship may or may not recover if you put some distance between you, ie. not living together.
08-06-11, 01:31 AM
Vert

his mom did ask him if it was okay with him in the beginning and he said yes but it's recently that he started getting irritated with me being there. I dont stay with him all year long only during winter breaks and summer breaks. Bonfire thanks a lot you sound like a caring guy and i agree with you a 100 Wake up. Thanks for all the reply's guys
09-06-11, 05:49 AM
ConniptionFit

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vert [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

his mom did ask him if it was okay with him in the beginning and he said yes but it's recently that he started getting irritated with me being there. I dont stay with him all year long only during winter breaks and summer breaks. Bonfire thanks a lot you sound like a caring guy and i agree with you a 100 Wake up. Thanks for all the reply's guys

You've picked a guy like your dad... insensitive, distant, and emotionally unvavailable (in short, a jerk). Dump him, and then seek counseling because, more than likely, you are going to continue to pick guys like your dad unless you deal with your issues around that.