Should I make contact?

Hi Guys

Here's my previous thread if anyone wants to read up on my story, although I will try and cover key points here:

loveforum.net/ask-female-forum/49855-not-sure-where-go-here.html#post668397

Met online
Both in 30s
Both low-experience of dating
Dated about 8 months - low key weren't attached at the hip or anything
Mutually split end of 2010 but no one actually initiated it, just drifted apart. Ok she did start flaking out so that kind of started the ball rolling.

Now I must say that we spent a lot of time just talking about things, our families, friends, her situation, my situation and seemed to really get to know each other. We both agreed that we got on really well. Now I was in no good place after this BU happened, we split because well I really don't know the real reason but it seems I was not very confident and taking the lead in the RL, although she said I was pushing too hard to get serious, which I really don't feel I was. At the time I had a lot of stress from work, was overweight and well drank a bit at the weekend, which I think was a mistake, not like falling all over the place but always having a few drinks.

Once the BU started happening it was her that started flaking out and ignoring me, always shooting me down in flames and saying well some quite hurtful things. She would say one thing and mean another almost like totally putting me off the scent saying yeah lets meet up sounding serious then flaking time and again. I was trying to talk to her to try and resolve the issues but she was having none of it. She almost seemed to be getting a kick out of doing this to me and I grew angry, desperate and just plain mad. I never said anything really bad or that during the BU we were just at each other's throats.

So after New Year I decided it was best to leave it as it was pushing my sanity to the limit and beyond. Since that time we have spoke online a couple of times but more or less ignored each other since then - 6 months ago. Most people are saying leave it move on and all that but I cannot and have had to delete all our connections as I could not bear to keep seeing what things she was up to.

Something keeps saying I should send an email and what I would say has yet to be decided, I do not know if it would make her hate me even more although I care less about that now? I wanted to put across basically the following key points:

• Had to delete contacts information online not because I was being childish etc but had to move on (although don't want to admit that it affected me sort of thing)
  
• Put forward my side of the story as I never really got to say anything to her without being cut off or ignored.

Thing is she hated the past being brought up so I don't know whether this is such a good idea but I feel more than anything that I would like to have my final say on the matter and put across my views. The thing that annoys me is I tried not to say anything about the RL the last few times we spoke and she seemed to be pretending she was doing fine, I could tell she was not as good as she said, she was being over-confident and using words like she was just fantastic and all that bull. I am at a point where I realise I cannot lose anymore so think sending an email won't do any more damage it will just let me have my say on the matter. I did want to say all this 6 months ago but felt at the time it might not have been such a good idea because of the place I was in but now I am indifferent about it and am not worrying so much about what she thinks.

I think in a way NC was a mistake and I implemented it for too long but I had no choice and felt as time went on that it would have been wise to just say nothing but now I feel like saying my piece.

Any thoughts on whether I should send an email?

N