quite relieved..

3 months ago, a guy I'd been seeing for two months told me he couldn't fall in love with me. Though his actions said something else (he treated me like a princess) and he kept repeating to me how much he cared about me.. I had to take his word for it..we cut contact. But I was heartbroken, had grown attached to him - floating on pink clouds. He told me was sorry and stuff but I started to hate myself. The time we'd spent seeing eachother wasnt so easy for either of us, it was a rollercoaster ride.. I couldn't focus on anything.. nor could I focus on anything afterwards either. Until I met someone else recently - basically a stranger - for a short while - in who's lap I could cry out about this guy. It was passionate and it was quite liberating.

This other guy dumped me pretty quickly ..it didn't matter - he wasnt a keeper exactly. But now I finally feel.. free.
And cos I really admire this guy who told me he couldn't fall in love with me I contacted him the other day saying I wasn't mad at him anymore.. cos I'm not. I'm indifferent. And he's being really friendly and happy and he's curious about my life and he still tells me he cares about me. I just couldn't imagine how seeing another guy-- someone I saw for different reason.. could make me think so differently about the first.. someone I had really adored with every bone in my body. It's cool :D Maybe something will come out of our new friendship.. maybe not.. the world wouldn't go under.. Slightly scared that if I would see him again everything old would come back and ruin my life once again. But I rather have him in my life than be without him.. and for now everything is friendly and happy. We standing on new ground. This is all very new experiences for me personally but it's good stuff.
I just had to share this with ya!