no progression

hi, my name's patrick and I'm 19 years old.

About 5 months ago my first true love broke up with me. We were only together for 4 months, but everything seemed so perfect! After she had talk to some of her girlfriends, she said she was confused and maybe even never really loved me. (although I was her first relationship)

The hardest part is we take classes together, so everytime I have to see her again. I don't show how much pain this break-up caused me, because I just don't want to look patethic. But she keeps smiling at me and hanging around me like nothing ever happend...
Although I believe that she doesn't have any feelings (left) for me, and this just won't get fixed, I can't help it I keep thinking about her. When people give me the good advice to improve myself, I do this for her more then I do it for myself.

Sometimes I feel like I'm completelly over her, but the next day I feel like shit again. Every time I hear her name it's like a knife cutting through my heart. Time just didn't heal anything by now...

Now schools out, so I will not be seing her for the next 3 months (untill I have to go back in october)
I really hope I can clear my heart by then.

I really appreciate all your help!
thanks

That 3 month you're about to have is going to fix everything. Avoid contact with her at all costs. If she contacts you politely tell her you'd' like some space for a while and go on with your life. Have a purpose. Do things you love to do. Work on yourself. I know it's painful but fight through it and you'll be a tougher human being. Good luck.