I need an after breakup advices. [lots of reading though]
Hi there !
Some review:
I've been with my girlfriend for the last 7 months.
She gave me 2 STDs, but I didn't left her though. She didn't know she had it and I felt feelings for her.
She said she loved me during our time together, and I didn't say it back.
I was feeling really depressed and down for the last 4 months because the disease is still there.
Sometimes, though, I was feeling better, and acted as a happier person, but mostly was very pessimistic in view.
About a week ago she left me, saying it was more of "We're not laughing together anymore, we don't have anything in common. We handle things so differently ... It's a no-match" type of reason.
To be honest, I was a dick up to lately.
Less hugging, less phoning and less caring. I was really down.
Can you blame me entirely though ?
I was still showing her how much I cared by sleeping at her place, watching tv with her and giving her massages.
(We can't have sex though, because she's healed and I might re-infect her)
I was still here for her, though not as happy as in the start. She started this whole situation, but I never blamed her.
The day after the breakup, I called on her and told her it was not fair how she behaved, and we both didn't handle the situation pretty well.
I can get a more optimistic point of view and she can return sharing what's on her mind again, so we won't end up so distant from each other as of lately.
Also, I added, this isn't an on-off type of relationship. This relationship was fun after all in the beginning, when this whole thing wasn't here just yet.
So "us" deserves a second change.
I told her she shows disrespect for our good times, and that this bad time will go away in the near future. Concluded with "we should get together and work on this together."
She told me she would think this over.
Now, we're university students.
This is an end of semester time.
She said it's hard for her to handle with everything during the following days, as she has tests, and so do I.
Yesterday she called me to check up on how my test was doing, but she couldn't talk then.
At the evening she called again and said she can't give me a true "yes/no" answer as she just still doesn't know. She's not seeing "us" anymore as she thinks there's nothing in common between us.
I told her, again, that this is just not right thinking as we can't make a good judgement now.
She replied with "I don't know, I didn't have time to think. I have a test tomorrow. I can't tell you a deadline where I might have an answer. I don't feel the same way, I can;t get back together as I won't be there completely, but I don't want to tell you 'no' either. I honestly don't know."
I told her, as a last line, that I'm not gonna wait for her. I'm not gonna sit around and just wait.
She agreed.
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Sorry for the big preview, but how else could I have approached the questions? :)
I miss her. I wanna make this relationship work, but I can't force her into it again.
I'm starting to get optimistic all over again. The breakup "shaked" me up. I realise now that I can handle it more gracefully.
1) Do you think she's actually thinking about us ?
2) Do the tests are a way of avoiding thinking about us ?
3) I told her that I want to try again and get back together. I told her that I have love feelings for her. Don't tell me I shouldn't have, because I don't think that.
I want to completely remove myself out of her life, give her time to think. Do you think this will help her understand better what she had ?
4) Do you think telling her I won't be waiting had any effect ?
5) I wish to change, mainly for myself. Should I make this change and have her know about it somehow ?
6) I have 2 of her closest friend on Facebook (unfriended her though). Should I erase them as well ?
And by that detach her from any way of knowing what's going on with me ?
Or should I make this to my advantage and have them tell her how much I've changed by looking at my statuses and pictures ?
7) Should I change my 1-year profile picture ? ;)
8) I have another girl interesting in me. She's pretty. Should I date her ?
9) For now I want to have her back, but not until she realizes what she missed.
What is your general advise I should have in order to move on and show her that this train is leaving the station ?
Thank you so much for reading this.!
I honestly appreciate your help !
