Tired of trying to read this situation
So heres the deal. I have this 'friend.' She has a bf. Lets get that out of the way right now. Don't judge me for it. She often has problems with her bf. She occasionally tells me about it, to which I used to listen to, but now I really just say something like 'hey sorry, but I'm not really your best friend, discuss it with someone else.' And it goes over pretty well. She understands. I have made it very clear, I'm not interested if you're looking for a best friend.
Well we had at thing when we first met when she and the bf were on a 'break.' Well she eventually got back with him. I moved on with it. Whatever.
She then a few months later comes back and gives me this 'I miss how we used to talk.' Well I don' think much of this, because I didn't like the way things went last time. But then these conversations escalate. Then she moves into an apartment near me (not for the purpose of being near me, it just happened that way). Then I get messages like "well I want to go to dinner but I need someone to eat with... if you don't go with me I'm going to starve!... I don't know where anyplace to eat is around here!' Which is all BS... It said "I want to eat dinner with you" without saying it. I understand. I go. Whatever. It was a good time. I admit it.
And we keep talking this last month or whatever. We meet a few more times. I don't know if her bf knows, I know her parents do and try not to ask questions. This last couple weeks, she is meeting her bf somewhere and ask me to meet her and walk with her to and from this baseball game (what can I say, I was going to the game anyways and it was a bad part of town). The BF actually walks with her to a certain point and she says to him 'I'll just walk with (me) from here.' I don't really understand that. But it happened.
So we talk this whole way, and its good conversation, kinda flirty, just like all of our conversations. And then we get to the cars, and its one of those things where we literally talked for an extra hour and said 'bye' about 5 times before we actually got in the car and left. And even then, it was because it started raining. A lot of the look in the eyes, close, body contact conversation, lots of 'hugs' whatever. She tells me about how she loves me eyes and my smile. But these are cheap comments, I'm still cautious. Because I know how things happened before. But it seems to me we like being around each other. I feel really good when we are and she sure smiles a helluv a lot. Plus I know she's often frustrated with her current situation.
Then I get messages lately like 'are you gonna go to this concert with me?' and 'I would be at your house if you would invite me' and even about how it was my fault nothing more happened when we first started talking because I was hesitant and 'she doesn't know what would have happened' if I had been more up front in pursuing her. We have also made plans to be around each other a lot here in the near future for a lot of random things.
It should also be noted that this whole time I'm playing the arrogant card about how I have other offers, I could be out, and actually haven't stopped going out on weekends to bars/clubs and meeting others. This all isn't untrue, as I do, and I do. I'm just... selective.
So she goes away for vacation this week. And her friend that she's with, to make a long story short, her friend had family problems and it was a rough few daysI couldn't be that arrogant guy at this point because I have a heart and knew she was hurting. So I go into my good guy mode.
Well things ended up working themselves out today. I am honest so I tell her I'm really happy for her and her friend that things worked out. And earlier today she tells me again about how pissed she is at her bf for some kinda BS he pulled. It's really a nice conversation. I think I'm doing well as a guy she's interested in.
And then her last message tonight confuses the hell out of me. "I'm going to bed. But thanks for everything. I wish more guys were like you. Your a great friend."
This is the definition of head games. If I'm a 'friend' she needs to stop playing like were going to meet up and stop being so up front with me and playing like she's interested. If I'm more than a friend then she needs to decide and stop referring to me as things like a 'great friend' even though I guess thats a compliment. Its not what I'm looking for, and I can't be a 'great friend' like this because I'm being what I'm being under the assumption that its going somewhere.
I guess part of this is out of frustration at the situation. But I think I need to be up front. Like,' look, where is this going, because I can't be just a great friend.' And she what she says. I was going to wait until we hung out a few more times. But this is driving me crazy and I'm pretty much at the end of the game. It's time to fish or cut bait. It's going somewhere or its not. At this point, I could deal with either one, but I just want to stop wasting my time. I don't wanna be rude, but I'm not interested in being just her friend. I probably really couldn't right now.
Is it out of frustration or a good idea to be up front and ask if she thinks its going anywhere? I guess I could wait until we meet up, but because she's out of town and so I am, it would take some time.
I'm just looking for opinions. Thanks.
