Kinda Long, but is this the right thing to do?

Printable View

18-01-05, 04:47 AM
Lvn_MR2

Kinda Long, but is this the right thing to do?

wel its been over 2 years since i started dating "Lily" and just two weeks ago we had out long distance break which she describes as "having a break" becuase she couldnt handle the feelings....which im still confused over. anyway i've decided to take her on a date again as she openly admits she really likes me, (we were engaged). Anyway my plan was that id drive to her place as she lives five hours away ( this is what caused the split, the fact that she moved back to her parents for her job which is 5 hours away ) any way i'd drive there and pick her up from uni, take her home to get changed and whatnot, take her to an italian restaurant on the waterfront and afterwards have a limo pick her up and take her to the top of mount eden....only problem is, that i wanted to ask her back at the top of the mountain but i have no idea what to say, the first time was easy as, we were younger and i just rattled out the words asking her out and she said yes, and the asking her to marry me at 3am on a lonely beach was pretty easy aswell....but asking her but has made my mind go blank.....i was going to write her a poem and say it to her but i dunno if thats a good idea or not.....i never ust to be able to do poems and thats why i failed it at college but since the split i've become very poetic lol.

does my approach seem reasonable? over the top? or too pushy? i really have no clue at the moment as im still giving myself the bash over loosing someone that was so dedicated to me, and i was so dedicated to her.

any ideas, tips or hints guys?
18-01-05, 08:50 AM
Cybog

No, this isn't the right thing to do.

You guys just split 2 weeks ago and are finally going on a date again after this split. This is definitely not the time to do something like this. There needs to be a lot more time between the two of you before you start getting pushy and dumping these kinds of things on her.

Granted, don't wait forever if you are going to do something like this, (I wouldn't do it at all) but 2 weeks later is a bad bad idea.
18-01-05, 10:06 AM
misombra

yeah. i agree.
18-01-05, 11:49 AM
Lvn_MR2

sorry i should have also mentioned that i wont be seeing her for another three weeks, so it would have been a five week break, any reason why i shouldnt try and go back with her?
18-01-05, 02:21 PM
Cybog

Quote:

You guys just split 2 weeks ago and are finally going on a date again after this split. This is definitely not the time to do something like this. There needs to be a lot more time between the two of you before you start getting pushy and dumping these kinds of things on her.

Granted, don't wait forever if you are going to do something like this, (I wouldn't do it at all) but 2 weeks later is a bad bad idea.

Does that sum it up for you?
19-01-05, 11:25 AM
ka_xx

I think since she said the feelings were too much for her, going on this date should be a good oppurtunity for you to show her that you can back off a bit. Maybe she just needs time, keep close contact, but push her over the edge:)
22-01-05, 01:42 AM
schueys_girl

totally agree with ka xx here. As she said that the feelings were too much for her, surely a grand gesture such as this might not be as well recieved as you would think. It sucks that you are so far apart but in my honest opinion and in my own and many others experience: when your partner asks for space thru a break or a complete break-up you give it them.

Plain and simple. Chasing, Pestering, Nagging, whatever you call it simply will not work. Spend some time doing things on your own and wait for her to contact you. She made the break, let her make the first steps. Good luck -x-

p.s save this grand gesture you are planning for when you know someone wants it...cos believe me its really thoughtful and amazing and someone will! :)