Is she trust worthy?

I met this girl few years back and i have a very strong desire to marry her.She was in a relationship before i met her.When we started dating, she claimed she was seriously in love with me and that she has left her boyfriend because of me.Overtime, i noticed she was still in communication with her 'supposed ex'(i used 'supposed ex' because i wasn't really sure she has left the guy);they texted each other.When i go through her cell phone at times i find no messages or call records;she deletes all her call log,inbox and sent messages.This is someone who receives and make calls all the time.

Being very observant,i noticed there is also this guy who has a crush on her and her attitude towards this guy, i must say is inviting.In all these,i kept mute because i didn't want her to say i am jealous or that i don't want her to have friends.I expressed my concerns to her though but she claimed the guy in question does not even have her phone number.

One afternoon i caught her on the phone conversing with this guy.When i confronted her she denied but later accepted it was the guy after i threatened to quit the relationship.She also claimed she did not know how the guy got her phone number.I forgave her and we moved on.Meanwhile, she had still been talking to her 'supposed ex'.Luckily , she lost her phone and i had to buy her a new phone with a new number entirely so that her 'supposed ex' and this new guy in question will end communication with her.She promised me she was going to end communication with them and ensure they don't have her new number.

Unfortunately, i relocated 12 months ago because of work demands.She is still in college and cant move to where i am now.My intention is to marry her as soon as she finishes college.Few months after i relocated,i found out her 'supposed ex' have started communicating with her again on the new phone i bought for her.When i asked how the guy got the number? She claimed she didn't know and placed the defense he must have gotten the number from someone else.More so, i noticed a huge traffic in her calls due her incessant communication on the phone even at late hours.I became worried because there is no time i call her that my call is not on call waiting.I asked her about it but she never really opened-up about those she was talking to.Only recently, i found out she has bought a second phone and she didn't even tell me about it or even gave me the number probably because i complained about her calls.

Worst still, when i asked her if the other guy that has been having crush on her was still in contact with her? She said the guy does not even have her number.But a very reliable friend who is close to the guy told me the guy has the number of the phone i bought for her even called the number to me to prove it.Guys i am really confused about what to do.I don't trust her anymore.I strongly believe is cheating on me.

I have only been this critical about her because i seriously want to know the girl i want to marry.She has done so many things that are enough for me to walk-away out of her life but love won't let me go.But right now my mind feel kind of made up on her.Having a second phone with out telling me or giving me the number i think is big enough.I need honest advice please.I am totally depressed.

in my opinion trust is number one key with out trust there is nothing

It sounds like there is ample reason for concern. I don't know what to tell you, but you might want to put that proposal on the back burner.

I would start doing some more investigating.

I have finally called it a day;i guess thats the best thing to do.

Regardless of her behavior, you two are horrible for each other. You're controlling and insecure. She's fooling around.

Time to walk. Get some help, too. The controlling shit gets old after a while.

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Originally Posted by HeartIsAching [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Regardless of her behavior, you two are horrible for each other. You're controlling and insecure. She's fooling around.

Time to walk. Get some help, too. The controlling shit gets old after a while.

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This is exactly the kind of response many give here when people come here complaining or suspicious of cheating partners;that they are insecure.Forgetting that intuition and gut truly works.I aint insecure or controlling bro.I have been with other girls before.They had their freedom and i never trailed them because they earned my trust.She gave me reasons to be suspicious.Nobody wants to be fooled around.I wonder how u will feel your 'fiancee' keeping a separate phone without you knowing or your wife having a hidden bank account without telling you and you discover it yourself.When trust is breached, it is hard to get it back.

You're joking, right?

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Originally Posted by cologne [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

i noticed she was still in communication with her 'supposed ex'

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Noticed how? You were checking up on her.

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Originally Posted by cologne [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

When i go through her cell phone at times'

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Controlling behavior, Isolation.

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Originally Posted by cologne [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Being very observant,i noticed there is also this guy who has a crunch on her and her attitude towards this guy, i must say is inviting '

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Observant? Or watching her like a hawk? Also displaying jealousy and insecurity.

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Originally Posted by cologne [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

One afternoon i caught her on the phone conversing with this guy.When i confronted her she denied but later accepted it was the guy after i threatened to quit the relationship.

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Threats and Coercion.

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Originally Posted by cologne [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Few months after i relocated,i found out her 'supposed ex' have started communicating with her again on the new phone i bought for her'

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How'd you find that out? Going through her phone records, on the phone you conveniently bought for her?

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Originally Posted by cologne [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

i noticed a huge traffic in her calls due her incessant communication on the phone even at late hours.I became worried because there is no time i call her that my call is not on call waiting'

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See above. Worried that there was not time you weren't on call waiting?

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Originally Posted by cologne [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Worst still, when i asked her if the other guy that has been having crunch on her was still in contact with her?'

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Why would you ask that?

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Originally Posted by cologne [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

But a very reliable friend who is close to the guy told me the guy has the number of the phone i bought for her even called the number to me to prove it.'

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So you have friends spying on her for you.

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Originally Posted by cologne [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I don't trust her anymore.I strongly believe is cheating on me.

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It appears you never did.

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Originally Posted by cologne [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I have only been this critical about her because i seriously want to know the girl i want to marry.

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That sounds familiar... oh yeah, it's a variation of "Look what you made me do."

That sounds familiar... oh yeah, it's a variation of "Look what you made me do."[/QUOTE]


Because only a jobless retard like you would have time for such analysis.People like you that don't take time to know who they want to marry end up in divorce tomorrow.I am sure you might even be a divorcee already.If i was not considering her for a wife, i wouldn't given care what she does.With the spate of divorce today, i was only acting wisely especially when she has given me signs already that something fishy is going on.I am not a dumb ass that would sit and watch a girl play me around like a soccer ball. I want a happy life and i will take time to know any girl i am going to call my wife.No bitch is going to fool me around and make me keep mute because i am afraid of being tagged in-secured.If you sister gives me reason to distrust her, i will investigate her and when i find the truth, i will also dump her ass.

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Originally Posted by HeartisAching

That sounds familiar... oh yeah, it's a variation of "Look what you made me do."

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Originally Posted by SirLackwit Jerksoffalot

Because only a jobless retard like you would have time for such analysis.People like you that don't take time to know who they want to marry end up in divorce tomorrow.I am sure you might even be a divorcee already.If i was not considering her for a wife, i wouldn't given care what she does.With the spate of divorce today, i was only acting wisely especially when she has given me signs already that something fishy is going on.I am not a dumb ass that would sit and watch a girl play me around like a soccer ball. I want a happy life and i will take time to know any girl i am going to call my wife.No bitch is going to fool me around and make me keep mute because i am afraid of being tagged in-secured.If you sister gives me reason to distrust her, i will investigate her and when i find the truth, i will also dump her ass.

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And now you go on the attack. Classic.

Get help.

BTW - I do think she's probably screwing around on you. I just wanted to point out that you've got issues.

The reason you've become controlling is because she lost your trust. I don't think you are neccessarily a controlling person but you took steps (the wrong ones) to try to give yourself piece of mind. In a relationship, you should just have piece of mind, you shouldn't have to search for it. Get rid of her though, she's a liar and a cheater. In your next relationship remember that you shouldnt have to check or follow up on your girl, no trust = no relationship.

@ cologne

I agree with Heart. She is cheating and you are way out of line yourself. The only reason she's sticking around regardless of your obsessive personality is because you're trying so hard to prove to yourself that she's not cheating that you're overlooking the obvious.

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Originally Posted by IncognitoSir [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

The reason you've become controlling is because she lost your trust. I don't think you are neccessarily a controlling person but you took steps (the wrong ones) to try to give yourself piece of mind. In a relationship, you should just have piece of mind, you shouldn't have to search for it. Get rid of her though, she's a liar and a cheater. In your next relationship remember that you shouldnt have to check or follow up on your girl, no trust = no relationship.

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Ya, you righ! I agree with you; i over-stepped boundaries because of my quest to know the truth.Ordinarily, i dont stoop so low trailing women but she was playing too smart and i needed to move faster than her pace to quickly know the truth before she ruins my life. Thanks very much for the admonition;highly noted.I have greater peace now for real.

Screw that controlling and insecure bs. If you suspect your significant other is doing something she isn't supposed to, you damn straight you want to find out the truth. To either catch her, or to prove yourself wrong. If there is no suspicion then there would be no need to go through her phone.

Your best bet is to not invest anymore time into the relationship. She is talking to other guys and lying to you.

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Originally Posted by Renwo [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Screw that controlling and insecure bs. If you suspect your significant other is doing something she isn't supposed to, you damn straight you want to find out the truth. To either catch her, or to prove yourself wrong. If there is no suspicion then there would be no need to go through her phone.

Your best bet is to not invest anymore time into the relationship. She is talking to other guys and lying to you.

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Thanks bro...You have spoken the entire truth.