I "cheated" on a girl I'm casually dating with her friend
Ok, so I accept full responsibility for my actions and am not trying to excuse them. I simply want to know what the best way to handle this situation is.
I left my long-term girlfriend of 4 yrs about 2 months ago and almost straight away began seeing an exchange student called Courtney. She's really great and I like her a lot, though we have both known the entire time that it was only temporary as she is due to return to her home country in about two weeks. Anyway... While I do really like her, I messed up by sleeping with her friend/housemate.
We kind of talked about what we were doing and established that we weren't 'exclusive' so to speak.. as it could never work in the long-term.. She told me I was allowed to see other people if I wanted to but that she would want to know about it (but I know she would be upset if she knew I had). While we're not exclusive, we aren't just friends with benefits either, we like each other and behave like an actual couple.. Always going out together and having a lot of fun.
About a week ago for some reason or another, her housemate Jess (also another exchange student) got my number and began flirting with me pretty full on through texts. I initially thought maybe it was a stupid immature game that they were both playing on me to see how I would react to being flirted with, so I played along. But, it eventually became clear it was legit and before I knew it we were both arranging for her to come over one day (we both knew for sex). I would like to just state for the record that I have never cheated on an actual girlfriend and I have been in a couple of really long term relationships. I probably wouldn't have gone through with this either if they weren't both leaving the country within weeks of each other.
Anyway, I backed out the first two times but eventually gave in and slept with her. I feel really terrible about it, mainly because they are friends. I'm not trying to make excuses, I said yes. But to be honest, it was her pushing the whole thing to happen, I kind of just went along with it... The thing I feel the most weird about it is that Jess didn't seem to care at all. I felt guilty in doing it, and especially so since, but she just laughs about how funny it is but promises not to say anything.
I think when I broke up with my long-term girlfriend (whom I still miss alot) I just expected to be a single guy again, and started seeing Courtney (casually in my mind - with that being the intention) but a bond grew between us. I feel that while I haven't cheated as such, because she is not my girlfriend, I have done something wrong. The most painful thing is having to lie about it and listen to Courtney when she speaks about Jess and how fond she is of her. Secretly I keep wanting to tell her what a s**t friend to her Jess really is and how she deserves much better. I don't want to upset her though and don't even know if/when I'll see her again after she leaves in a week. All I know is that I want to maintain the friendship. So, what should I do?
Jess seems quite emotionally immature to me, so it worries me that she might one day tell her and tarnish the couple of great months together that me and Courtney have had together. She has left the country now too, but seemed to think I actually liked her rather than it just being sex. When I asked her to promise never to tell Court what happened she said she wouldn't 'so long as I stayed in touch with her and visited if I'm ever in her country'.
I think being newly single and out of the game for a long time has left me lacking in the common sense department. Suddenly I have attention and am allowed to do something about it, so I got over zealous. All I know is, I want to best manage the situation so no one gets hurt, which to me seems like controlling the flow of information.
Tell me what you guys think. Thanks for reading.
