What to do?

Long story short I've been in this relationship for 9 years and come this fall we will probably be going our separate ways as I'm moving to another town to study. We've been through high and low together (especially the low) and always been very tight. Last year though she started cheating on me, and not just cheating but generally started to act really vile (I guess that was her way of justifying it). She was on this riding tour in Iceland and met some guy there (over 20 years older than her) and it seems they had quite the time together. I found out about this pretty quickly and we had countless fights but that didn't stop her from keeping contact with him, and apparently it didn't bother him that she was in the middle of a huge relationship crisis.

The way things went down was that we talked about the situation and agreed that she will settle things with me first and then she could do whatever she wants as we had A LOT of unfinished things between us. At first that seemed like a good plan and she was very convincing that it would work out... Well here we are 1 year later and we haven't really settled anything yet, still the things I need to confront her with get blown out right away. To me it was really important to settle things so I could move on but it seems she refuses to really honestly open up and get everything in the open.

She says all the time how I'm so imprtant to her and she want's me to be alright but she doesn't want to take any responsability in her actions. I'm honestly just billowing with anger right now as I'm starting to think she's just lying to me constantly. Lately she's been sitting at the computer for hours on end looking at different sites that offer work abroad and I think she's just plotting something. I can't trust her anymore but this is tearing me apart! I mean she's been my whole world for such a long time. I'd honestly would want her to recieve some sort of punishment for all the lying and cheating (also mental abuse but I'm not gonna go there) but that's not very likely to happen.

So pretty much all I can do is take on the damage head on no matter what way I go, it just makes me furious.

I hope this post made any sense at all lol.

To me, it sounds like the relationship was over a very long time ago. You are just prolonging things at this point. It seems as though you both know its over but you don't want to let go. She's blantantly cheating on you are you are what..turning a blind eye? You shouldn't stand for that crap. You deserve better. I know it's so much easier said than done but you need to walk away. I know it's been 9 years, but could you imagine another 9 in this type of a relationship? It isn't worth it. Take a few days to think about what you are going to say and convince yourself that it's over and that you need out. Then what I did was prayed to God to give me the strenght to say what needed to be said. And that was that it was time to end things. It's gonna be hard as hell to end it, because you probably still love her and you are use to her being there...but in time you'll be better. And a hell of a lot happier. You just need to muster up the courage to end it now...its time.