The one you love VS. The one who would treat you best
I posted a few months ago, but I still need advise.
I am currently dating my b/f of 2 years. We lived together for 1 1/2 years and I moved out in October. Currently we are living 45 mins apart. I DO NOT want to live where he lives (the area).
We had problems, He cheated, I forgave him. We split up for a few weeks in Oct. because we weren't happy. We decided to try it again, and I found out that he tried to cheat on me again (unsuccessful) and he admitted it, but I found out in Dec, but it happened in July.
Then I found out that he was at a party while I was working and didn't tell me about it. But this also happened over the summer, I just found out.
I do really love this guy, and since we tried it again in Oct, we have been very happy (except when I found those things out).
I thought that he was the one before all of this happened, and now the thought of marrying him is scary.
He is not good at all with money, and works minimumly, about 6 months, and then it's only here and there (he's a lobster fisherman). He makes alright $ (not great) but should be able to get by on it.
He is in debt. He owes for his second hand truck. $4700. The guy he got it from LET HIM HAVE IT in the summer as long as he was paid by the end of Lobstering (May), and he hasn't even saved a penny for it. He also has a $5000 loan for his ex g/f's car. He owes around $10,000 for a truck that he no longer has, and a sea-doo that be bought which is now broke but he hasn't fixed it in over a year.
He is living in his great grandmother's house with the agreement that his grandparents gave him their half, and he was to pay his great uncle for the other half ($30,000). He didn't. So his grandparents paid them for the other half and asked my b/f to pay them back (this way he wouldn't have to pay interest). That happened almost 1-1/2 years ago and he hasn't paid them a cent.
He has no ambition to do anything unless it is something "fun". Nothing gets done around the house.....nothing. We have had a hole in our bathroom floor from where we got pipes changed for almost 2 years. The outside door on the front of the house broke, and the inside doors is extremely drafty. (We live in Canada....IT's cold in ther winter, so we had to shut down 1/2 of the house in order to heat the place) He bought a new door 1 1/2 year ago, and is yet to put it in. THe pipes in the bathroom is awful and there is always stuff coming up the tub, but he won't fix it, ot get anyone to fix it. He ripped the doorstep off the front of the house over a year ago, and still hasn't even attempted to replace it (I even asked for a doorstep for my b-day present and never got it). When something gets done to the house I do it. I ripped down jiprock & insulated the upstairs, I've painted the whole interior of the house, and he sometimes helps, but usually just sleeps on the coach. So because I don't know how to jiprock, the whole upstairs isn't jiprocked, because he never does it.
If it involes hunting, fishing, or anything else pleasurable then he quickly does it. He splurged and bought a Ferret with a huge cage and accessories, and it came to about $600.00, but yet he can't even pay his phone bill.
I"m frustrated to say the least. I really love this guy. He is very fun and we can get along wonderfully. I love his family. They are like my own. I am completely willing to split the bills with him when we live together, but he either won't give them to me, or lies that he alraedy paid them.
Like I said, I love this guy SOOO much. He is so caring and genuine (when he's with me). But how much more can one put up with?
Then there is another guy. He is "in love" with me. He's a guy I've known for years. He's not a "player" or anything like that. In fact he's very shy and never had a serious g/f because of that. He is a very hardworker, he is VERY sensible with his $, but not stinjy. He wants to settle down with someone (me) and get married (eventually). That is exactly what I want too. He is getting ready to build a house, exactly where I want to live (which is where I grew up). He is not in debt. He has been in our "group" of friends for years. He is very sensible, and I know for sure that he is not the cheating type, so that's something I wouldn't have to worry about. He has been interested in me since my b/f and I split up in Oct., and still is. He isn't trying to get me to cheat or anything like that, but it's known that he wants a relationship with me. He said that he is willing to wait for me for as long as I need. I can't think of anything negative about him. He is everything that I want in a boyfriend. EVERYTHING. IF I wasn't dating my current b/f, I would be with him without a doubt.
But then there's still my current, who I love very very much. I know he cheated, and I have choose to accept that. I'm just getting frustrated of giving him chance after chance, and putting up with his laziness.
I know that I would miss him terribly if I left him. But I'm starting to think that the style of life I would have with him for the long run isn't all that appealing when I look at the style of life I could have with the other guy. (By style of life I'm not referring to money or material things).
I know some will say just be single for awhile, and I know that. I wouldn't jump from one right to the other, I would definatly give it time in between.
What would any of you do in my situation?
