Messed Up.

Sometimes it is just so difficult to be a human, to have all the mind to think and feel,
yet to have no experiecnce in molding or using such thoughts and feeling, how to cope with them.

Such complex that feelings are, you like a girl, you go up to her to intro yourself,
you hope things would go positively, yet for some reason things ALWAYS dunt go the way you always want,
you see that her friends start getting in the way, you feel its getting difficult to even want to get to know her better,
her work station is far from you " If you go up to talk to her, you have to go through her group of frens at the front coz she sits in a corner.",
challenges are always there in front of you. You know she might not reciprocate
the feelings you might have for her, yet you cant seem to let go so easily. Yes, its a crush
but you keep thinking that she might be the special one.

Somehow, why things canot be made simple. if you are interested, go up talk, why do people say that you are
not to keep talking to her, keep her from thinking that you are desperate, you cant be how you want to be and express
your feelings cause you will freak her out. you must always run one big round to get your intentions known.

Why cant we just bare out what we feel? the point of playing cat and mouse is so, fustrating some times, sending mixed signals,
trying to interpret each other, you read me, i read you, you go up, talk up to her,
the girl says sorry for sending you the wrong signal.

Thats it?

Then if you tell the person how you feel you risk freaking the person out, to the point where its even difficult to even be friends?!

if you dunt do anything you have all that pent up feelings that you do not know what to do with, if you do not do
anything to the girl of your dreams you regret at the end of the day, why did you not ask, or why did you not put
the effort and do something. then it just becomes a vicious cycle.

Am I wrong to say that? Seriously? Sorry Im just frustrated here, writing when my emotions are at a all time high. Im currently stuck in a situation with a crush that had a bad start.
Hm.. would " a bad start" even describe how it is? =(

She works with you? I'd avoid this one, dude. Let's say you do get together, and let's say you break up... Judging from how involved her circle of friends is already, you'd be dealing with the aftermath for a while.

Both she and I are leaving the work for good. she is going to study, I got a better place to work at.. So well, thats that.