My boyfriend was a jerk. How can I love a jerk?
We had been together for 10 months in a LDR. Here's how he is :
-he told me he doesn't love me
-he never told me he misses me, although there were times when we met after 6 weeks apart
-he called me pathetic, stupid, desperate
-he says holding hands in public is pathetic, along with having pictures with your gf on facebook or changing your relationship status name, so he didn't change it even though I suggested him a few times to do it
-he never said: come visit me, I always invited myself to him
-when he came to my town, he came for his guys, stayed 3 days with them and with me he just for a cup of coffee
-I caught him many times lying to me about not speaking to a girl and then I found messages in his e-mail from/to her
-he doesn't want to go on a vacation with me, he says he wants to go with the guys
-he doesn't invite me to the wedding he's going to, he says he'll go with his wife, you don't go with a gf
-he never lets me join him when he goes out with the guys.
-he never makes surprises or small gestures to make me happy
-when we have sex, it's always about him, he gave me oral only once in 10 months but he expects it from me every time!
-when we spend more than 2-3 days together, he starts saying things like "so, when are you going home?"
-he cheated in the past a lot, had many gfs like 30-40 and he's only 25
-he always tells me how great his friends (girls) are and that I'm not like them
-he doesn't like a friend of mine and he forbidded me to talk to her again, which I did for 3 months and then when I started talking to her again he called me a liar
And these are only a few of the things he did to me, I always did nice things, a lot of them! Because of these, we were fighting a lot cause I wasn't happy and he always said that I'm crazy, that I'm demanding and desperate.
We had a talk a few days ago and he told me that if I come to visit him, the thing he expects from me is the sex. And I asked him, that's why you're with me? Because of the sex? And he said yes, mainly, but I also like you and like talkin to you on the phone, it's just that I don't want a serious relationship with a woman with whom he fights so much. I always tried to explain to him that if he would've showed me he cared about me, the fights hadn't had to happen.
I told him I can't be with a man that doesn't want a serious relationship with me and only wants me for sex and he said ok. Then, the next day he calls me to ask me how are you and tells me he's gonna call me again! Why would he do that? He said that in 3 weeks he's coming to my town and that he hopes he'll see me and then he asked me that if he'll change his mind about the serious relationship, will I take him back?
I loved him so much, I really don't know why, I know I'm stupid for being with him for so long, but he always made it look like I was guilty for the fights and that I'm not good with relationships.
It's been 2 days of no contact, I know he's a jerk but I miss him. From the list I wrote, do you think I was the one too demanding? Should I answer his phone if he calls again and I'm sure he will?
Thank you!
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