I need your thoughts.

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19-01-05, 11:05 PM
Timber

I need your thoughts.

After you break up with someone you start to see realise things you did not previously see. But there I still questions I cant find an answer to, such as:

1)If infatuation, rather than love, is causing enough destress after a break up to make you depressed, is it any easier to combat? How do you tell the difference?

2)Is it pathetic to still be thinking of your first proper girlfriend all the time, six months after breaking up, or natural?

3)Would you ever dump someone in quite a cruel way to punish them?. For example, you felt they were losing interest in the relationship? (I was the one dumped by the way)

4) If you think you love someone is it worth losing face to try and save what you once had, even if there's only a one in a million chance?

I would much appreciate any thoughts even if they're yes/no answers.
19-01-05, 11:16 PM
jakki2903

Quote:

Originally Posted by Timber

After you break up with someone you start to see realise things you did not previously see. But there I still questions I cant find an answer to, such as:

1)If infatuation, rather than love, is causing enough destress after a break up to make you depressed, is it any easier to combat? How do you tell the difference?

It's never any easier to combat but it does get easier to deal with - for example - if u continuously get hurt then your recovery time will reduce.

2)Is it pathetic to still be thinking of your first proper girlfriend all the time, six months after breaking up, or natural?

It's perfectly natural. You will always think of your first proper girlfriend, like I do of my first proper boyfriend, the difference will be that you will grow and learn and sense a deeper love when you get older and meet 'the one'.

3)Would you ever dump someone in quite a cruel way to punish them?. For example, you felt they were losing interest in the relationship? (I was the one dumped by the way)

Me personally no, but some people do. Sometimes my boyfriend is so awful to me I contemplate it but in reality I wouldn't, no, but everyone is different.

4) If you think you love someone is it worth losing face to try and save what you once had, even if there's only a one in a million chance?I'd say yes everytime, depending on if that person is worth it. If you can say yes then definitely.

I would much appreciate any thoughts even if they're yes/no answers.

Read above my thoughts in bold, I hope they help.
19-01-05, 11:25 PM
Andy_S

Quote:

2)Is it pathetic to still be thinking of your first proper girlfriend all the time, six months after breaking up, or natural?

It's perfectly natural. You will always think of your first proper girlfriend, like I do of my first proper boyfriend, the difference will be that you will grow and learn and sense a deeper love when you get older and meet 'the one'.

Nice advise there :)
20-01-05, 11:50 PM
cycletease

Quote:

Originally Posted by Timber

After you break up with someone you start to see realise things you did not previously see. But there I still questions I cant find an answer to, such as:

1)If infatuation, rather than love, is causing enough destress after a break up to make you depressed, is it any easier to combat? How do you tell the difference?

2)Is it pathetic to still be thinking of your first proper girlfriend all the time, six months after breaking up, or natural?

3)Would you ever dump someone in quite a cruel way to punish them?. For example, you felt they were losing interest in the relationship? (I was the one dumped by the way)

4) If you think you love someone is it worth losing face to try and save what you once had, even if there's only a one in a million chance?

I would much appreciate any thoughts even if they're yes/no answers.

1) I think determining if it is love or not is a hard thing, and maybe you won't know for sure until years later when you have matured. Ultimately it doesn't matter since it hurts the same either way. A good marker is if you mourn for the loss of the friendship rather than other things after the break up. While it doesn't help, time does make it easier. The best thing I have found to do with breakup depression is to FORCE yourself to go out and be social.

2) Thinking of your first girlfriend is great. That means that you are still learning from that relationship. You will always carry that person with you, she is part of your memories and has helped shaped you as a person in some way.

3) I think people choose to be cruel when dumping to make it easier on themselves in some way. It is a whole lot easier to make a break if both parties are angry. It is a lot harder to leave someone without being angry, but is the right way to do it in my book.

4) Ah, this is a good question. What are you actually gaining by "saving face"? This is just a game, trying not to show how you feel...maybe it protects you from getting hurt. The thing with love and relationships is that you will get hurt or you won't have love. Love IS an emotional risk at any time. You can't have love and hide your feelings at the same time. If you think that you care about someone, give it a shot. If it doesn't work then maybe next time you won't wait until the relationship is over to show your feelings. Women want to know how you feel, want to know you care!

Good luck!