Porn...Has it affected anyone else?

:sad2:Kind of a complicated issue for me. It's not like I'm a prude. I've seen my share of it. I use it to release stress sometimes. BUT
it has ruined some of my relationships. Currently I have a boyfriend that has a HUGE collection of Playboys. Boy, have we been in some fights over this. When we were just friends, I didn't care. As soon as we got together, I assumed he'd willingly give them up. LOL It seems ridiculous, but I can't help how I feel. I guess I should start by metioning too that I saw my first porno at 10. My dad had a VERY hefty collection (VHS) that I guess he figured no one would find. Well I did and I watched! He never knew or at least he never knew it was me, his daughter. I had another brother and maybe he thought it was him I don't know. In our family we never confront each other about stuff. To this day I don't know if he knows. I've thought about telling him and letting him know how much of an issue this is for me. My mother never knew but I saw how it affected her. I always told myself that that wasn't going to be me. She allowed it because she loves my dad to death. She sees it as his only vice, since he doesn't drink, smoke, or go out with friends like most men. This is what she told me once when I asked her if it bothered her. She did confront him when it finally got out of hand! My brothers grew up to have porn thrown in their face aswell. For them it is different. I currently live with my second oldest brother and he's got that stuff plastered on his wall. His girlfriend lives with us too and it doesn't seem to bother her. I feel disrespect from my partner. I wonder if down deep inside they don't feel the same but are afraid to say anything in fear of losing them. I guess I just want to know that I not a freak for such feelings and maybe a way to suppress them or get rid of them altogether. Anyone??

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/ask-male-forum/55979-what-do-men-relationships-really-think-when-watching-porn.html[/url] I would check this topic out. About halfway through it gets on that subject. Avoid like the last 6 7 pages though

I think porn has desensitized me a little. I remember when I was a kid, just seeing some cleavage would give me a hard on. Now I need a lot more visual stimulation than that.

I read that it affects you but do you ask yourself WHY it affects you?

Do you associate porn with cheating? I don't know any men that don't watch porn

Some guys need it to get a hard on. Or no erection.

But for porn ruining relationships I'm still debaiting that. Maybe if it gets out of hand???

I feel exactly the way you feel. It's either put up or shut up. Im really considering leaving because at least then Id be happy with myself. Id rather be alone all my life than feel like this for the rest of it.

You know, I can't quite pinpoint why it affects me. All I know it has affected me. It's a weird feeling. Like I'm two people.
One person has sex and is open about it. The other feels sort of a shame about it. It goes deeper then that of coarse but
more then I'd rather discuss right now. Unfortunately, I cheated on my ex-husband and one reason was because I felt I
wasn't satisfied sexually. I wanted to try things I'd seen and he didn't. So in a way, I guess I can associate porn with cheating. At
least for my case.

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Originally Posted by clueless74 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You know, I can't quite pinpoint why it affects me. All I know it has affected me. It's a weird feeling. Like I'm two people.
One person has sex and is open about it. The other feels sort of a shame about it. It goes deeper then that of coarse but
more then I'd rather discuss right now. Unfortunately, I cheated on my ex-husband and one reason was because I felt I
wasn't satisfied sexually. I wanted to try things I'd seen and he didn't. So in a way, I guess I can associate porn with cheating. At
least for my case.

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I get upset because it makes me feel ugly. It makes me feel like Im not enough. I am very sexual and he knows how high my sex drive is but he'd rather play with himself infront of these images of sexy women. I feel like hed rather do that because im not quite attractive enough. I do everything I can to keep things alive but he hardly touches me. People dont get why we get upset and how much it hurts. I dont mind him masterbating it is him watching these women as he does. I suppose it feels like he is cheating.

I think porn is ok i used to watch with my fiance it was good but not a constant viewing material,Ibelieve you have to experiment to what you both are prepared to accept.Although my fiance at the time cybered with a woman in rl i dont think it was the porn that lead him there,it doesnt make me feel ugly i feel sympathy that these women are so insecure they need to be 80% silicon to do the job and to feel appreciated by men.Well really do the men actually believe they could compete or even achieve their on screen partners appetite even those guys need drugs to keep it up.Your not a prude a little insecure maybe try talking to him about how they make him feel and if its just release for him who cares your the one he's holding telling love words too.Maybe try blindfolding him with a porn on he can hear but not see only feel what you are doing to him.Dont overthink this hun,your not a porn star they are not demoralizing you they are just there because society is against them and wants them ended so they flood the market with films magazines.
Love and completeness in sex is yours not a silicon barbies

porn is not something you should even bother thinking about. All men like porn, watching porn is not cheating (it could even prevent cheating). Men are visual creatures, women are different. Don't take this personally, it doesn't have anything to do with you, how much he is attracted to you or wants you - at all.
The only way that this is a problem is when he clearly prefers porn over sex with you. That's porn addiction and I'm sure it's not the case with you. Believe me, I'm talking from experience, just leave it alone and don't make him hide it from you or feel like you are "controlling".
Hope this helps!

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Originally Posted by Katmeow85 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I get upset because it makes me feel ugly. It makes me feel like Im not enough. I am very sexual and he knows how high my sex drive is but he'd rather play with himself infront of these images of sexy women. I feel like hed rather do that because im not quite attractive enough. I do everything I can to keep things alive but he hardly touches me. People dont get why we get upset and how much it hurts. I dont mind him masterbating it is him watching these women as he does. I suppose it feels like he is cheating.

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You do know most men find those women disgusting, right?

Yea, porn affected me... It gave me a HUGE ****ing hard-on!!!

Hahahahaha!!

It bothers me too. Yes, I have heard so many people claim that ALL men watch porn. I don't believe it. I have dated several guys who dont. I think that it absolutely desensitizes you. I have had issues with guys watching it and wanting to experiment more and more with things that i'm not comfortable with, I have had a boyfriend do that so much that he wasn't able to finish with a girl at all (in fact, the same thing happened to a guy that my friend dated). I feel justified in not liking it. I tollerate it to a very limited extent. If I feel it's causing problems in our sex life, or I feel that he is starting to be interested in things that I don't feel I am comfortable with, than I am done. I do think of it as cheating if it cuts in to our sex life. You can find men who understand how you feel about this, but also try to be as reasonable as you can. I also found that if I watched it every once in a while, I became more comfortable with my boyfriend watching it (though I could never watch it with him, I was too uncomfortable with that). I hope that helps.

Know what? Porn is a distraction and anything that distract in my relationship with my boyfriend, I used to get rid of it.