How do I move one?

I've never really tried to post any threads about my doubts and tribulations, but I figured it might help to hear others answer questions I no longer know the answer of.

For about 8 months ago I meet an older guy who was already in a relationship. We kissed to a party (I did not knew at that time he had a girlfriend). Later on he told me he already had a girlfriend but we ended up having sex anyway and it actually led to an affair. I told myself constantly that our relationship was all about lust and not love, which my head understood, but my heart absolutely did not. The last time we saw each others it ended sort of badly, his girlfriend called during sex and I had to go home. After that night he never wrote to me again and I didn't have the courage to do so either so it just ended all of a sudden.
A few months after I was devastated. He really broke my heart. I'm still in a bit pain, but I'm moving on

About 2 weeks ago I was at a festival. It's was all fine. I met this guy and we talked and then had sex. He was sweet and it all felt casual and nice... Until the next day. When I was talking to him and he suddenly kissed a girl in front of me. Twice. I know it's a festival, but the feeling of him just giving a shit about me after we had shared something to intimate made me feel worthless. A deja vu from the affair.

Sorry if this is far to long, but I needed to explain. I feel very vulnerable. I want to stay off men, but at the same time it's nice to feel someone kissing you and holding you, even for minute.
How do I get out of this pain? How do I stop ****ing myself with these stupid men (Sorry :()?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by SophieGirl [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I've never really tried to post any threads about my doubts and tribulations, but I figured it might help to hear others answer questions I no longer know the answer of.

For about 8 months ago I meet an older guy who was already in a relationship. We kissed to a party (I did not knew at that time he had a girlfriend). Later on he told me he already had a girlfriend but we ended up having sex anyway and it actually led to an affair. I told myself constantly that our relationship was all about lust and not love, which my head understood, but my heart absolutely did not. The last time we saw each others it ended sort of badly, his girlfriend called during sex and I had to go home. After that night he never wrote to me again and I didn't have the courage to do so either so it just ended all of a sudden.
A few months after I was devastated. He really broke my heart. I'm still in a bit pain, but I'm moving on

About 2 weeks ago I was at a festival. It's was all fine. I met this guy and we talked and then had sex. He was sweet and it all felt casual and nice... Until the next day. When I was talking to him and he suddenly kissed a girl in front of me. Twice. I know it's a festival, but the feeling of him just giving a shit about me after we had shared something to intimate made me feel worthless. A deja vu from the affair.

Sorry if this is far to long, but I needed to explain. I feel very vulnerable. I want to stay off men, but at the same time it's nice to feel someone kissing you and holding you, even for minute.
How do I get out of this pain? How do I stop ****ing myself with these stupid men (Sorry :()?

---

Hello Sohpie,

So sad to hear your story. And don't apologize, it is nowhere long enough!

I am sure that you know it yourself that the only way to avoid this happening again in the future is by taking it really slow with the next person you'll meet.

But I guess logical advices don't help at that point. All I will say is that what happened to you is really shit and anybody would feel very sad if he/she was in your position.

Just hang on in there, and do share your feelings on the forum without worrying how long it will be. It helps us a lot to say the things that bother us, and everybody here is here to help.

I agree with ForMadMenOnly. My advice would be to take things extremely slowly with the next person you are interested in. Don't jump into bed with him right away. Even if you feel it's "right" or that you want to. Once you give that up it's all physical. You need to build a foundation of trust and mutal respect with the next guy so that when you do sleep with him, he more than likely won't walk away right afterwards. Live and learn...hang in there!