Not sure how to handle the relationship

Just after some thoughts...

P and I have both had a week full of turmoil for different reasons. He's had a full on week at work (he's in senior management and is stressed most weeks anyway), he's also had issues with his soon to be ex wife and he's also had his 2 kids, both of who can be full on at times. Me - I've had a stressy week at work also, and am also trying to come to terms with the fact that my best friend of 20 years is lying near death in hospital after open heart surgery on Tuesday. So I'm also not in the greatest frame of mind. P said he's also been worrying about me and how I'm coping with things.

So I headed over there tonight with my daughter for a movie night with him and his kids. We ended up leaving the kids to watch their movie and went and laid down and were chatting about our week. Which turned into a deep and meaningful from him about his ex wife, and how he feels about us.

They were apparently discussing their divorce, and he told me he feels as if he needs a reason why she did what she did to him, that he can't just accept it. She basically had an emotional affair with a family friend - he can't understand why she would do that, then claim that their marriage and P was important to her. He admits he has baggage, but he's an extremely logical person and likes to see reason and he just can't.

Which brings me to P and I. He said he really really likes me, likes spending time with me etc...but that he isn't ready for an intense relationship due to how he feels about his ex - not that he wants her back, but that he just can't accept how things were left. He doesn't want to break up with me or anything, far from it...but he's also unsure of how much he does want. As yet, we haven't defined our relationship as anything but just that - a relationship. We haven't discussed the future, what each wants from the other etc. We're both (as far as I can tell) quite happy with the way things are. I'm not the slightest bit upset about what he's revealed tonight - but maybe I should be...?

I'm not looking for just a fling - I want to meet someone I'm happy with and want to spend alot more time with now and in the future. And so far, he's perfect for me. We get along great, and are different enough to keep things interesting...but how do I tell him I'm looking long term? I'm so not good with deep and meaningfuls - I'm great with listening, just not with talking.

I didn't bring it up tonight as I'm in no condition to be talking about my feelings given the last few days of being emotional with no sleep for 2 nights running. But I know I'd feel better if it was all out on the table - I love him and want to make this work. I'm patient and can wait, but don't want to wait if its never going to happen.

I've posted before about telling him I love him...perhaps I can say it when I tell him how I feel about us, and where I'd like it to go - but also telling him there's no pressure if he's not there yet. Or maybe its best to not say anything about loving him, given what he's told me tonight....I'm pretty much going around in circles with this and getting nowhere fast....help :(