Hey everyone I'm new here but I have gone through a lot these past few months... My girlfriend, Lisa of 3 years left me a couple month ago. At first she said that she only wanted some time and space to herself. And as simple as that may seem to most people who have had worse happen to them, I took it the wrong way.
I grew up living in state homes having no family, I was on depressive meds most of my life until I met Lisa, thus my memories before Lisa are mostly just big blurs. Lisa was the only person who ever made me feel alive and our memories are so clear. Before her I never cared where my life went. So giving her time and space to me felt like my world was ending. I became paranoid that she would never come back and I would have to face a pain that I had seen tear so many people to pieces.
After awhile of our relationship on hold, I broke down and started spending every minuet I could trying to get back with her. Calling over and over, showing up unexpectedly at her place. Then I tried showing her how much pain I was going through in hopes she would see how much I really loved her. And then one day I found out she had a date with another guy. And that's when my pain became more than I could cope with...
On Christmas eve I tried killing my self in a spot that me and Lisa had always gone to when we wanted to be alone and be together without being bothered by anyone else. My friend saw me get in my car with a bottle of pain killers so he called 911 and told them he was worried and told them where I might be going. They found me and took me to a Hospital where I stayed for a week and got some help but when I got out I had lost my job...
I realized that even if we would have gotten back together I had screwed that chance up with everything that I had done. After that I stopped caring about my life and was soon dropped from my night classes. I have been trying to move on and get over Lisa, but the only happy memories I have are of us... without those memories all I have is blurred visions of my past. I can't seem to find the strength in me to face the mistakes I made and move on. How can I get myself out of this…