Can someone help and read something out of this?? :D

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22-07-11, 10:36 AM
flirtatwork

Can someone help and read something out of this?? :D

Here we go..
I met this girl at work couple of months ago and I started flirting with her a lot and she liked it and even flirted back. The thing is now I haven't got on an actual date yet. I asked her out to have an ice-cream with me and she had been busy but accepted it and we had a great time, went to the mall and she told me a couple of days later that she liked it. She went out of town for a vacation and I didn't talk much to her cuz her "phone was dead most of the time" and something. I thought about her many times a day the whole week she was away and tried a couple of times sending her texts but did get little responses. So she came home and I asked her to meet me today at 3 o clock cuz I had work around 6.

My intention was to buy her a cake and coffee or just something nice at a coffee house and just chat. She told me to call her an hour before, so I just texted her saying Hi, just to see if she would reply. I got no reply so I called and she was apparently busy with her parents so I didn't really get to meet her until 4:30 so I had very little time to spend any time with her cuz I had to work soon and I had been waiting sooo long to see her and talk to her so I got stressed out and didn't know what to talk about and kept checking my phone. So the cake and coffee did not happen.

I think she understands why. I mean it wasn't all bad we just didn't do what I wanted if you know what I mean I didn't have control of the situation. But I don't know if she really knows that it meant much to me to see her but I wanted it to last and have a good time but it didnt last.
So what Im trying to say I don't seem to get GOOD time with her to just talk about ourselves…

I mean I know she likes me at some point and she likes when I flirt with her and give her massages and say nice things to her but I want more, I cant explain it I want a real date, It's like shes treating me like a friend maybe in a friend zone but friends do not flirt and all that. I think Im sure she knows my intentions but I dont know if she just thinks I want her in bed witch is not what Im thinking but something more.

Another thing, she doesn't have many girlfriends, her best girlfriend just moved to another country and she seems always to hang out with guys. I asked her when she was going to show me her place, (she told me she was going to show it to me cuz she moved there recently) she said the place was a mess but soon. When texting her tonight it came up that she was cleaning the place and later when I asked her if she wanted to pick me up at work and I would buy her an ice-cream or just hang out she replied that she didn't really want ice-cream and and her friend was at her place anyways. She is not dating this guy and I know that for sure but I think it's so weird. I don't know if it bothers me, but Im a little jealous cuz I wanted to chill with her.

i don't know I just need someone to read something out of this and give me advices.
22-07-11, 11:50 AM
muddblood

It kinda sounds like she just likes the attention you give her.
22-07-11, 06:01 PM
flirtatwork

yea, I really dont know about this.. but something tells me to keep going. I dont know how to tell her I want an actual date without soundling lame or something. I want to have fun on the date being occupied with something at the same time being occupied with her. I dont even know what to do with her that makes things happen. One thing is that I dont drink alcahol but she does so she doesnt probably count me in her nightlife though. I would be more than happy to go with her if she would go.
22-07-11, 07:56 PM
lahnnabell

You better ask her out on a proper date. If she enjoys the company of guys, at this rate, someone is gonna beat you to it and you're gonna be back here wondering where you went wrong. Get on that. Quit waiting for her to take charge. I guarantee you she wants you to do the driving.
22-07-11, 09:45 PM
flirtatwork

Should I not decide the day and time and what place we would go to first?, sorry I have not been dating alot in the past year. lol.. and how to I make it clear I want something more then friendship or tell her how I feel ?
22-07-11, 10:24 PM
devonbrown

I agree with lahnnabell. You have to ask her out if you are interested and unsure if she is interested back. Just keep in mind that too much intensity (telling her how important it was for you to meet up with her before work, etc) is sometimes seen as creepy and unattractive to women. So be calm and take things casually.

Quote:

Should I not decide the day and time and what place we would go to first?

Yes, that is what you should do when you ask someone out. :)

Quote:

and how to I make it clear I want something more then friendship or tell her how I feel ?

By asking her out on a date. You can even use the word "date" if you want to make it clear.

Good luck.
22-07-11, 10:29 PM
Yet another guy

If you have crush on her or something, don't tell your feelings right away. I'ts likely to scare her off.
Do make clear that you want more than friendship. Otherwise you'll end up in the friend zone.
23-07-11, 12:33 AM
flirtatwork

Thank you everybody for great responses.. I really like this site :)

Quote:

Another thing, she doesn't have many girlfriends, her best girlfriend just moved to another country and she seems always to hang out with guys. I asked her when she was going to show me her place, (she told me she was going to show it to me cuz she moved there recently) she said the place was a mess but soon. When texting her tonight it came up that she was cleaning the place and later when I asked her if she wanted to pick me up at work and I would buy her an ice-cream or just hang out she replied that she didn't really want ice-cream and and her friend was at her place anyways. She is not dating this guy and I know that for sure but I think it's so weird. I don't know if it bothers me, but Im a little jealous cuz I wanted to chill with her.

Was the turndown something to really think about or was it something that I should not worry about and just ask her out to dinner one day?
23-07-11, 03:49 AM
Agent85

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yet another guy [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

If you have crush on her or something, don't tell your feelings right away. I'ts likely to scare her off.
Do make clear that you want more than friendship. Otherwise you'll end up in the friend zone.

Yeah, I know about that right there all to well. (look up above). That's pretty much what devonbrown told me on my thread. I feel like I made an amateur mistake. So, anyway flirtatwork, as a friend told someone on here, I can't grow balls for you, but I can give you advise. I agree with pretty much everyone on here. You need to ask her out, right now. If you don't, someone else will and you will be kicking yourself in the ass. You will have that "What If" cloud floating over your head, and you don't want that.
23-07-11, 06:45 AM
celestina

Quote:

Originally Posted by flirtatwork [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

She went out of town for a vacation and I didn't talk much to her cuz her "phone was dead most of the time"

Quote:

Originally Posted by flirtatwork [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

tried a couple of times sending her texts but did get little responses.

Quote:

Originally Posted by flirtatwork [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

She told me to call her an hour before

Quote:

Originally Posted by flirtatwork [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

so I just texted her saying Hi, just to see if she would reply. I got no reply so I called and she was apparently busy with her parents

Wake up dude. She is seeing another guy (or more). These are all excuses.

Quote:

Originally Posted by flirtatwork [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I mean I know she likes me at some point and she likes when I flirt with her and give her massages and say nice things to her but I want more

She keeps you close because she loves being flirted with and being given massages. Hey, which girl doesn't?

Quote:

Originally Posted by flirtatwork [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I think Im sure she knows my intentions but I dont know if she just thinks I want her in bed witch is not what Im thinking but something more.

She KNOWS your intentions dude. She knows you're not a sleaze who wants to get her into bed, but rather a sweet naive guy who will feed her ice cream when she wants it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by flirtatwork [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Another thing, she doesn't have many girlfriends, her best girlfriend just moved to another country and she seems always to hang out with guys.

Tease.

Quote:

Originally Posted by flirtatwork [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I asked her if she wanted to pick me up at work

What's wrong with you??!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by flirtatwork [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

she replied that she didn't really want ice-cream and and her friend was at her place anyways. She is not dating this guy and I know that for sure but I think it's so weird. I don't know if it bothers me, but Im a little jealous cuz I wanted to chill with her.

I am not being judgemental about this girl, I'm just asserting what the facts all point to. I'm sure she is a nice person but she also seems to be the type to not know what she wants, so she will take what she can from whom she can for now, since you're obviously not the only one who wants her. What I advise is that, just don't act like you wanna see her all the time or like you wanna spoil her right away! That's such a major turn-off, especially for a girl with that many guys around her. Before you want to buy her ice cream or treat her with special attentions (i.e. massages, compliments, etc.), make sure that she appreciates your presence and that she deserves all those things from you. If she doesn't show any gratefulness, stop giving too much of yourself--you'll lose it all.
23-07-11, 06:52 AM
Agent85

I just learned another lesson here. LOL Thanks celestina. :)
23-07-11, 07:08 AM
celestina

And ummm... yeah at this point, she already knows how much you're into her. Hell you're probably all shaky and panicky around her (kidding, kidding). But yeah she probably knows she can have you anytime. The balance of power is totally off here. Only way you can restore that is by relaxing. Be aloof man.
23-07-11, 07:12 AM
lahnnabell

Quote:

Originally Posted by celestina [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

And ummm... yeah at this point, she already knows how much you're into her. Hell you're probably all shaky and panicky around her (kidding, kidding). But yeah she probably knows she can have you anytime. The balance of power is totally off here. Only way you can restore that is by relaxing. Be aloof man.

She's right. BUT given that it's not in your nature to be aloof, it's going to be hard to pull it off if you're around her. So you should start by asking her out on a date. Be forward. If she declines, then you stop calling her. You stop buying her ice cream and junk. You develop other priorities so she thinks you've got better things to do. Either this will intrigue her and make her seek you out, or she'll just skip off with one of her many suitors and you'll be better off.
23-07-11, 07:16 AM
celestina

Quote:

Originally Posted by lahnnabell [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

BUT given that it's not in your nature to be aloof, it's going to be hard to pull it off if you're around her. So you should start by asking her out on a date. Be forward. If she declines, then you stop calling her. You stop buying her ice cream and junk. You develop other priorities so she thinks you've got better things to do. Either this will intrigue her and make her seek you out, or she'll just skip off with one of her many suitors and you'll be better off.

She's right.
23-07-11, 07:20 AM
lahnnabell

Quote:

Originally Posted by celestina [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

She's right.

Word, lady friend.