I don't understand jealousy...

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23-07-11, 03:23 PM
Mark2.0

I don't understand jealousy...

This is becoming a trend in my long-term relationships.

I don't get jealous. And I mean I really don't...at all. I don't understand it. I can't comprehend why I should be jealous of what my partner does or who she talks to or anything.

My partner is jealous of my wandering eyes and thoughts. It's not something I'm terribly proud of, but it happens all the time and I really can't help it. It's automatic and I just really like women.

She knows I have more women friends than men, she knows I like women. I've told her all my faults and issues and never lied to her.

She still feels jealous and insecure and I don't understand at all. She has every part of me and I come home to her every night.

I really don't get jealous at all. My lady can do whatever she wants. As long as I'm the one she's building a life with, I don't care what she does or who she does for that matter.

So, she has tried to give me that same freedom, but now she says she's living a lie and she can't live that way.

I don't know what to do and I don't know what she wants from me.
23-07-11, 03:50 PM
pisces25

Some people aren't cut out for open relationships. You will have to find someone that is if that is the lifestyle you want.
23-07-11, 04:42 PM
Georgianna

I can have a jealous streak. I think it is just that some people want to feel special in the way that you only have eyes for them. Yeah, you can appreciate someone else's beauty, but she wants to feel that she can fulfill your needs so you won't have wandering eyes/thoughts. Everyone has very different ideas about it. Her ideas are obviously very different from yours. Good for you for not lying to her, but now she is telling you how she really feels and not lying to you. She wants to feel like the only one you need/want so she can relax and not wonder why you feel the need to hang around other women.
26-07-11, 03:24 PM
Cinnabella

Quote:

Originally Posted by Georgianna [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I can have a jealous streak. I think it is just that some people want to feel special in the way that you only have eyes for them. Yeah, you can appreciate someone else's beauty, but she wants to feel that she can fulfill your needs so you won't have wandering eyes/thoughts. Everyone has very different ideas about it. Her ideas are obviously very different from yours. Good for you for not lying to her, but now she is telling you how she really feels and not lying to you. She wants to feel like the only one you need/want so she can relax and not wonder why you feel the need to hang around other women.

I'm totally agree with this.
26-07-11, 10:55 PM
devonbrown

She wants you to be jealous. But not jealousy that is borne out of insecurity or doubt or distrust. She just wants to know that you care. That is how she understands jealousy. right now, she thinks that you feel the same about her as you do about the leftover pizza in the fridge. You can take it or leave it.

You show your appreciate and want for her in a different way. She is having a hard time understanding that. And you have a hard time understanding why she wants you to only have eyes for her. This is all about communication, and then, beyond that, whether the two of you have enough common ground to continue a relationship.

I would probably suggest couples counseling, to be honest. Both of your talking to a third party outsider might help you two find a middle ground balance and help you see things through your partners' eyes.

Good luck.