I wish I could just get over him!

Hi love forum buddies :)
I'm only on for a bit of a moan so please forgive me lol! I've been doing really well with the whole nc thing, haven't even been remotely tempted to break it at any time since I started it which I'm really impressed with :) I have lost count as to how long it's actually been but it must be about a month by now. It's been weird and for the most part it's been good for me. He broke the nc 8 days in but I didn't respond to his email so he hasn't tried again since and I'm thinking he probably won't now. I still really miss him though it's clearly over now. He was away for 5 days in Europe with the new gf which makes me feel very sad indeed. I still care about him deeply and wish things had turned out differently for us. It's been 4 months now since we broke up and though I am definitely in a much better place emotionally than I was before, I'm still finding truly accepting it's over forever really tough. He came into my life and lit it up like a million watt bulb. I feel like I've lost my soulmate and best friend, I want him to want me again :( Besides nc I am struggling with what I should do to ease the feeling of being bereft........ Sorry Wakeup, I'm still moaning I know lol!!!!!!! *

acceptance comes from within.

And on many levels I have accepted it's over. Realistically we will never be back together for many reasons not least I would never trust him again. But my heart is still holding out some sort of vigil for him even though my otherwise very rational and mature mind is clear on the fact that he has someone else now and has given no recent indication that he has any feelings for me anymore. Life is hard!

Trust me I know! You are hurt, confused, and want to know why. BUt I can assure you that you will never be able to fully accept it if you don't allow yourself too. Keep your mind busy and you will find out before you know it that you are no longer thinking about him. And when you do, it won't bother you.

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Sorry Wakeup, I'm still moaning I know lol!!!!!!! *

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*smiles* Well, getting over someone is a process, not an event so having feelings of "I wish" are quite normal. The key is to dismiss them and don't cling onto them or as DH says, you'll never reach the final destination of acceptance on this journey you're working your way through.

I have a feeling that it's not really him you miss but the relationship it's self that you're pining for. If that's the case then force yourself to travel to indifference to him quicker by doing the mental exerces to purposely not dwell and inner reflection you need to do to get to indifference so you will be ready to form a bigger, better and brighter relationship with someone
new. He's kinda like old news now, eh?

You have to WANT to get over him. And you have to let go of your desires of wanting him to want you. WHY do you want him to want you? As you say you'd never be able to trust him or get back with him so start letting go of this wanting and examine why you have this desire of him wanting you. Tell your ego to pipe down :)

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Tell your ego to pipe down

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Haha... well said.

My poor ego is so damaged by all this believe me! I think if it was in better shape I wouldn't be pining for him at all anymore! Yes he is getting to be old news and I fully accept that it just ain't gonna happen now. Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt still right enough and yes WU you're right it's the relationship I am missing most now. I guess I am just a bit lonely sometimes!