Crazy Relationship, if you can call it that
I'll try to keep this brief even though I'll probably leave out some details because of how crazy this has been. I met a girl in March last year who works in the same building as me. She came up and asked me out. In about 3 weeks of dating her (I'm 29 and have dated plenty) I felt there was something special about her and that I really liked her (you know that - shes the one feeling you see in movies). After the first week she told me she had never been in a relationship (28 herself) and that she didn't want anything physical. Usually I don't agree to something like that because girls use you, but I said alright I'll give it a shot she must have her reasons. After 3 months we had only progressed to hand holding. We were seeing each other 20 hours a week, all weekend, all the time. She took me to meet her dad and then invited me to fly to meet her mom (I said no, felt it was too soon). Anyway so she is going to her moms, she tells me before leaving the great care I take of her, how I am the first person in her life she enjoys spending time with and how she hopes we last. I never bring up the being exclusive thing with a girl, she brings it up. Well she comes back from her mom's and refuses to see me for about 4 weeks. When I finally see her she acts completely differently, angry with me, asks me to eat my food faster at the restaurant. She then rips into me and accuses me of putting her down all the time, says I smoke weed and she wants a serious relationship (I told her I had tried once a long time back at some point, I'm a successful MD so it wasn't the I'm lazy and don't have a job thing). She ends by saying she wants no attachment, that she doesn't want to be exclusive anymore. This time I decide to play the no contact for a bit game, I give her 6 weeks, then text her. This time she is all friendly again, and invites me to her dad's for dinner. After that she once again refuses to see me, tells me she is super busy (which she isn't I know for a fact). Finally she tells me 'I'm not new to her anymore', she is too busy to be in a relationship. I say alright and walk away. But she acts completely strange around me, if we are walking towards each other in a corridor she looks the other way, if I sit down during a seminar she'll make sure she goes and sits on the opposite side of the room. 6 months later (we haven't talked the whole time), I'm at the gym, she goes up to the guy right next to me, and asks him what he is doing on Friday night and if she can join him. Now this guy is not very attractive and she had told me he has asked her out plenty of times and she wasn't interested. I pretty much knew that was for my benefit. Once again I text her, she is super friendly, but after 2 meetings she is back to not replying to emails. Then I do something stupid, I say, look I loved you last year, I never said it because of the way things were going, but I'd like to work something out. I get no response. I sent her about 40 emails, saying, all I want is an answer, do you want to spend time with me or not, I don't want a restraining order, just tell me if you don't and I can move on with my life. Still no answer. I finally sent an email with a read request which tells me if she opens it (our work email system allows that), as soon as she sees that and knows that I know she has read every one of my emails, she writes back 'Please don't contact me again'
I just want an unbiased opinion because my friends know her and are biased, is she a huge b*itch or a scared commitment phobe? I forgot to mention this whole time she is on match.com and goes on a date with a new guy every two weeks. No guy has ever lasted more than 3 dates with her other than me (we had about 30).
I know the strategy, no contact again for 6 months to a year, I just want to know if this is even worth it. I know she is worth it, but if its unwinnable, then I might as well not expend any more energy on this. Has anyone ever dated someone like this? I sure haven't.
