How to kiss her? (Both very shy)

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05-08-11, 06:15 PM
Shinto

How to kiss her? (Both very shy)

I had my 5th date yesterday, at her place. I thought it was obvious at the 4th date that she wanted to kiss, as she kept touching her lips. I wanted too, but was too scared. We're both very shy, in fact we are acting like we've no idea what's going on and never even mentioned the word "date", but its SO obvious we like each other. It's kind of funny but so cute ^^. We're both 21.

So yesterday we were watching movies while sitting on her bed. For the first half I had my arm around her a bit, slightly touching her. One thing that confuses me from time to time is that when I start touching her a bit she doesn't move at all most of the time; neither away nor closer. I always stop there and just keep this very slight touch. Or should I try touching more tightly if she doesn't move away?

After dinner, we went on watching movies, but she sat down farther away? (Maybe she wanted to sit more comfortably, since there was nothing to lean against)
Okay, so during the last 20 minutes I pretty much shifted all my attention to her, looking at her a lot.
She noticed and suddenly moved in and we were really close. I looked at her more often for longer intervals and she started to smile a lot, but still had her attention at the movie. I tried to make it obvious that I wanted to kiss and I think she also wanted to, as she was leaning against me like she rarely does and our faces were really close..
Still, even after the movie ended I kept looking at her (looking away a few times, so it wouldn't seem like staring) and was waiting for her to turn her face towards me but she didn't. She probably wanted to turn around, but was too shy; there were just a few very short eye-contacts.

After about 5 minutes after the movie ended I gave in due to my uncontrollable heart-beating. I didn't know whether I should say something and ended up with something like "hnnn" while exhaling loudly.
Then we both started to laugh. It was so obvious we both wanted to kiss.
Nothing more happened, but the next date is at my place again (2nd time) and I didn't even have to ask.

So (I forgot to mention it would be my very first kiss, hers too probably) I have no idea whether I should have "slided" around to be directly in front of her and kiss her, but I thought that would be a bit awkward?
Or should I have said/asked something (without ruining the mood)?
I'm quite shy and might not be able to just go for it all by myself, but she's even more so.
How can I get her to relax a bit and give her the courage to kiss?
05-08-11, 06:51 PM
Lexia

Hi,

I remember how it can be in such situations. How about next time in that situation, where it seems like she might be interested, you try asking her something like, "It's ok to say no, but....can I kiss you?" I always love when that kind of thing happens in movies!

PS, if she does say no, don't worry about it too much, just shrug it off lightly, 'ok, thats cool. maybe another time...' and try not to feel or act awkward about it... change the subject, make her laugh about something.... at least if she wants it to happen but has maybe been too shy to bring it up, now she will know that she doesn't need to fear being rejected by you!
05-08-11, 08:18 PM
Yet another guy

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shinto [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

we are acting like we've no idea what's going on and never even mentioned the word "date"

Make sure that she is acting like it because she's shy rather than not actually having and idea. Start using the word.

Quote:

I always stop there and just keep this very slight touch. Or should I try touching more tightly if she doesn't move away?

Yes. I think you should keep advancing until you get a reaction.

Quote:

I'm quite shy and might not be able to just go for it all by myself, but she's even more so.
How can I get her to relax a bit and give her the courage to kiss?

Some girls are very passive and won't take the initiative ever. You're probably better off trying to relax and find the courage yourself.
05-08-11, 08:24 PM
maxmax

My good lord man ...

Just KISS her!

And if it's not right, you'll soon learn how to get it right.

You'll certainly not learn by sitting there all night long and doing nothing.
05-08-11, 10:16 PM
devonbrown

You get her attention, gently put your hand around the back of her head and pull her in gently. Then close your eyes and kiss her. It sounds like she wants you to and you want to, so just go for it.
05-08-11, 10:16 PM
Superfantastich

you are just making life harder for yourself, next time you see her and get the urge JUST DO IT, the more you think about it, the more you will panic. Its obvious she won't mind
05-08-11, 10:36 PM
devonbrown

Quote:

the more you think about it, the more you will panic.

Superfantastich is absolutely right about this. So much so that I wanted to repeat it. Don't overthink it. Thinking gets in the way of action. So just do.
06-08-11, 02:27 AM
Shinto

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lexia [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

How about next time in that situation, where it seems like she might be interested, you try asking her something like, "It's ok to say no, but....can I kiss you?" I always love when that kind of thing happens in movies!

Hmm, I wasn't sure about asking directly - to not "destroy" the moment. I'm not sure what answer I could expect actually; if she doesn't want to say no she might just nod and turn red. Though then it would probably work.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lexia [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Now she will know that she doesn't need to fear being rejected by you!

I'm positive she knows that, especially from the way I acted last date.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yet another guy [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Make sure that she is acting like it because she's shy rather than not actually having an idea.

I'm pretty sure. One reason being that I've approached her before and told her I was interested in her, which was the first time I talked to her. After that we didn't talk for 2 months; well the approach was bad ^^

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yet another guy [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Some girls are very passive and won't take the initiative ever. You're probably better off trying to relax and find the courage yourself.

I don't expect her to be active actually, just open for it. I actually though it might have been rude of me to shift myself so we looked at each other and persue her any longer. I mean I've been looking at her with our shoulders touching for almost 5 minutes.
If she had turned around I think I would have had the courage to kiss her. Not sure because it didn't happen, though.

Quote:

Originally Posted by devonbrown [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You get her attention, gently put your hand around the back of her head and pull her in gently.

Sounds nice I'll try this if it turns out the same as last time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by devonbrown [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Superfantastich is absolutely right about this. So much so that I wanted to repeat it. Don't overthink it. Thinking gets in the way of action. So just do.

I know you're right and I've been told the same many times. Sometimes I don't even notice..
06-08-11, 02:36 AM
VincenzoG91

You're overthinking this, and also not drinking enough.