Is it ok to ask her for pictures? How to ask to just have a "fling"

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10-08-11, 10:11 AM
nukl92

Is it ok to ask her for pictures? How to ask to just have a "fling"

Ive known this girl since about March. She sent me a friends request on Facebook and we started talking. At first im not sure if we were just talking friendly, or "talking" talking. i was in school, im 19 in college, and she was a senior in high school. we texted eachother everyday all day. She wanted to come visit me at school but i kind of avoided it because i didnt want to first meet her when im with my friends at school. If she ended up not being what she seemed like, i would have to explain to my friends that i met a girl on Facebook and it would be kind of embarassing and i would take some heat for that. I wanted to meet her when i was back at home. She helped me get through a little rough patch, then we kind of just stopped talking. I guess she ended up dating a guy or something like that. We started talking again because i wanted her to Like a page of mine on Facebook and was just looking for Likes lol. So we started talking again after that, about few weeks ago and are serious about being a couple. Now, we still have yet to meet, but we each understand that the other is looking at this as more than friends. Im just wondering if it would be ok if i asked her to send me some pics of herself. Nothing sexual (it would be nice lol) just idk, something to look at since we cant really find matching schedules to see eachother. Btw, im about to be going back to school in 10 days, i like her, but like i said, we still havent met. She was kind of reluctant on meeting because if we really liked eachother, i would just be leaving her and she has went through that before, she figured maybe avoid the whole meeting just so she doesnt get hurt again. If i really like her i wouldnt mind a long distance relationship, but if i just kind of like her, i dont wanna be tied down since im going back to school. I convinced her to hangout and just see where it goes from there. Now im not this kind of guy, ive never been, but i kind of want to present the idea of just having a "thing" she seems like she wouldnt be cool with it, but im sadly actually a virgin and would like to maybe just experiment with her before and get some experience under my belt, before i go back to college for my second year. That sounds horrible, like im just using her, but idk, what do u guys think? Is asking for pics creepy/weird/wrong? Of course, she has pics on Facebook, but idk, just maybe a pic of her atm or something, idk. And is there a good way to ask her if she just wants it to be a little fling?
10-08-11, 10:47 AM
sadie_genie

Ya, nothing wrong with asking her for pictures. Hopefully, she has nothing to hide. lol. But yes, IMO, asking her for just a fling (unless that is what she wants too), is like saying she isn't worth being taken seriously. Be very careful with what you say to her in this respect. Why don't you just go with the flow, get to know her better, and then let things progress naturally? Being in a relationship really is no big deal (its not marriage!). Since you are a virgin, I assume you don't have a large of number of girls chasing after your penis, right? So, being exclusive isn't a huge impediment for you?
10-08-11, 11:27 AM
nukl92

Quote:

Originally Posted by sadie_genie [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Ya, nothing wrong with asking her for pictures. Hopefully, she has nothing to hide. lol. But yes, IMO, asking her for just a fling (unless that is what she wants too), is like saying she isn't worth being taken seriously. Be very careful with what you say to her in this respect. Why don't you just go with the flow, get to know her better, and then let things progress naturally? Being in a relationship really is no big deal (its not marriage!). Since you are a virgin, I assume you don't have a large of number of girls chasing after your penis, right? So, being exclusive isn't a huge impediment for you?

ur really gonna come on here and dog me!! haha jk. i mean, last year in college i had girls interested in me, like 4 ish, iactual had one gf but broke up after 2 days, we bothed rushed into, i never realy had one so i was all in exxept for senior year of high school, thatdidnt go far either, but she turned out to be crazy so it was ended. other than that they never got anywhere for one reason or another. before college i was a totally different person and had ZERO confidence so i didnt try in high school, thats kinda y im still a virgin, and last year was a good building block for me because i actually had enough confidence in myself to pursue the opposite sex and positive things happened with the opposite sex for me last year. i never got past kissing, but at least girls actually saw me like that, for once. and i dont find her facebook pics to be that attractive but i know most ppl look way better than their fb pics, and she mentioned she fit into a size 3, but it didnt seem like that from the fb pics, seemed larger (i know thats shallow) so i might as well see what she actually looks like i guess first
11-08-11, 12:46 AM
sadie_genie

Quote:

Originally Posted by nukl92 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

ur really gonna come on here and dog me!! haha jk. i mean, last year in college i had girls interested in me, like 4 ish, iactual had one gf but broke up after 2 days, we bothed rushed into, i never realy had one so i was all in exxept for senior year of high school, thatdidnt go far either, but she turned out to be crazy so it was ended. other than that they never got anywhere for one reason or another. before college i was a totally different person and had ZERO confidence so i didnt try in high school, thats kinda y im still a virgin, and last year was a good building block for me because i actually had enough confidence in myself to pursue the opposite sex and positive things happened with the opposite sex for me last year. i never got past kissing, but at least girls actually saw me like that, for once. and i dont find her facebook pics to be that attractive but i know most ppl look way better than their fb pics, and she mentioned she fit into a size 3, but it didnt seem like that from the fb pics, seemed larger (i know thats shallow) so i might as well see what she actually looks like i guess first

If you are not attracted to her, you shouldn't use her as a fling. But I am guessing you are aware of the immorality of that. Most people are not perfect; if she accept your imperfections, you should accept hers too. If she is heavier than your ideal but still attractive, you should go for her.
12-08-11, 01:58 PM
nukl92

Quote:

Originally Posted by sadie_genie [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

If you are not attracted to her, you shouldn't use her as a fling. But I am guessing you are aware of the immorality of that. Most people are not perfect; if she accept your imperfections, you should accept hers too. If she is heavier than your ideal but still attractive, you should go for her.

well thats the thing. i still have yet to meet her and all i have to go off of is facebook pictures. if i ask for pics and she sends them and im not attracted then i just say, ok lets not talk anymore. thats a giveaway lol. im about to be going back to college and we still have yet to meet and a few things came up and we probly wont be able to see eachother. she seems like she still wants to talk tho. i really just dont wanna tell her that i dont want to see her because im leaving and havent met, but its true. i feel like i gave her a little too much hope a few days ago when i thought we would b able to meet, but its probly not gonna happen now. i just talked to her and i was being very negative about it all, then she said "i feel like ur about to say lets not talk" and i said no, just thinking about stuff. so she really thinks im trying to stick around with her... i need to put her down softly
12-08-11, 10:46 PM
devonbrown

Most people will see asking for pics as you being pretty shallow (which you have basically admitted to). So no big deal if you want to have her think of you that way.
And asking for a fling is a bad way to go if she likes you. Like sadie_genie said, unless she wants that too, it is a bad situation to get into. You will just wind up looking like a jerk.

If all you are interested in is losing your virginity, then hire a prostitute and don't look to use someone and mess with her head and heart.

Just relax as well. You are young and there is no rush for any of this. Just take things as they go. Personally, the fact that she hasn't wanted to meet you all summer suggests to me that she isn't as into you as you might think. She may just be rebounding from her old boyfriend.
13-08-11, 05:32 AM
nukl92

Quote:

Originally Posted by devonbrown [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Most people will see asking for pics as you being pretty shallow (which you have basically admitted to). So no big deal if you want to have her think of you that way.
And asking for a fling is a bad way to go if she likes you. Like sadie_genie said, unless she wants that too, it is a bad situation to get into. You will just wind up looking like a jerk.

If all you are interested in is losing your virginity, then hire a prostitute and don't look to use someone and mess with her head and heart.

Just relax as well. You are young and there is no rush for any of this. Just take things as they go. Personally, the fact that she hasn't wanted to meet you all summer suggests to me that she isn't as into you as you might think. She may just be rebounding from her old boyfriend.

i feel like i am kind of a rebound. she did like me before the bf i think, then they broke up, and now im kinda back in her life again. so i kind of am a rebound and someone who is there for her when she is down to talk too. but i think she does actually like me too. im not really worried about the pics anymore, would like the fling, but im not even gonna entertain that idea. im not shallow like that and dont wanna mess with her heart. i havent really gotten far with women, so i figured id try to be a shallow douchebag that just wants vagina, but thats just not me. ive been talking to a female friend and she just suggested to just kind of back off and not act so into the girl. the girl im talking to wanted me to text her first thing in the morning today but my friend said not to. just to start backing off.
13-08-11, 05:42 AM
smackie9

Wow your inexperinece really shows. You really have not a clue how it all works. First off the majority of girls that show interest, want a relationship. As for sex they usually wont give it up unless you commit to them. So asking this girl for anything is totally out.

Since you are going to college soon, wait til then to experiement. Most who go to college are not looking for a relationship and are there to just have fun. So if the opportunity strikes, just get the first time sex over with and who cares what they look like, just do it. Its gonna be awkward no matter what, with each different partner you go with. Im sure you will meet a sympathic girl that will show you the ropes. Best of luck in college.