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What do I do when he already cheated on me before?
Not just once or twice, but a lot.
I love him but I just can't trust him anymore.
The wall that he once climbed to get to my heart is starting to tighten its security again. :(
Do you have any advice about this?
Now you're cooking with fire.
He cheats because he's a cheater. He doesn't stop because you accept him back. He isn't to be trusted. You can't change that. If you can't take it, break up with him. Period.
I guarantee he'll do it again.
Would it have been better if he could have been honest about his intentions instead of having to "climb mountains and swim oceans" to get into your heart? How is he different to you even if he is "cheating"? Do you feel you are getting less of him than you wanted or deserved when he is with you? In my opinion, "cheating" is over-rated; it is only good if you are not really into a relationship and need something to complain about instead of working on a better relationship.
Have you asked him if he is ok if you find other guys? If not, why not or does he believe in double standards. In my opinion, you have an opportunity to be more "ambitious and proactive" regarding a relationship if you are willing to not let something like that bother you. How has he been "unfaithful" in ways other than sex that would lead you to not desire a relationship with such a person; if it is only sex, you may want to consider that we are all loyal subjects of the animal kingdom.
Consider a different perspective, how many politicians can get elected on a platform of true witness bearing, if the answer is none, they why do you have faith in faithfulness.
If he is a chronic cheater then it's likely that he's unable to be monogamous and if you aren't into open marriage/relationships (where you also have other sexual partners) then you should just break up with him right now before he steals all your joy and self-worth.
Think Tiger Woods. He couldn't stop either until he went to rehab. (who knows if that even worked?)
I didn't go to rehab for cheating... I went to jail and then to group therapy for domestic violence where I learned that sexual abuse isn't just rape. The point is, I learned. Of course, I also got the woman that I'm totally unwilling to lose, and I refuse do anything to jeopardize that relationship. Draw your own conclusions... but I think it's possible. Actually, I KNOW it is.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wakeup [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
But she shouldn't trust this guy.
By rehab... I meant exactly what you went through... You went to "rehab" you just didn't sleep over at a group home you went to jail instead to do it.
... and yes, It can be done (just not sure if Tiger Woods is "clean" of his personal addiction {sex})
*I don't think she can trust him at all if he doesn't accept that what he does to her is wrong and gets help, either. My post wasn't about you at all. ;o) It was about OP's shitty boyfriend and Tiger Woods was used as an example of someone who couldn't be monogamous.
I know. I'm just saying it's possible.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wakeup [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
But unlikely
He has an appetite for women, and not a committed relationship.....that is who he is. Accept the fact he is not the man you hoped he would be. You are done now, time to move on without him.