does she want me back? (long)
i've known this one girl for about 9 or 10 years. i was never attracted to her but we started to like each other last summer. we both all of a sudden fell in love like if it was magic.
we started flirting and talking and kissing and all that good stuff for about a month. anyway, i asked her out back in november and everything has been going good. we talked whenever we had the chance, we spend out free time in school together, we use to talk online every single day, we even stayed up until 3 in the morning talking on the phone a couple of times in december, etc.
anyway, this monday (1/24/2005) she dumped me. :(
i kinda felt it coming because that day in school, she kept ignoring me in a way. she looked so sad and i felt bad. she didnt even kiss me on the lips like we usually do. nothing. she dumped me over the phone and told me she just cant be with me because of her mom. now, her mom doesnt want her to date until shes 18. she said she's scared that her mom may find out about us dating. i guess it was haunting her all this time and she was scared. we've kept our relationship hidden all this time, why did she dump me now?! i felt so bad i even cried after she dumped me.
on tuesday of course i still felt bad. i kept getting teary eyes in the middle of class and i just felt like total shit.
on wednesday i was in school and i was just walking by the spot where me and her usually met up. she didnt show up. i just stood there thinking. all teary eyed. :( worst feeling ever. anyway, as soon as i was leaving, she PASSED BY unexpectedly and we made eye contact for a couple of seconds, but i didnt want her to see me so sad so i quickly turned and headed to class. i felt guily/sad. wierd feeling. as i walked to class, she caught up to me and said "hey you dont say hi?". i was shocked that she came up to me. i just shrugged, then she asked me "do you ever want to talk to me again?" and i nodded saying no with my head.
i cant believe i did that. i blanked out and i didnt know what to do or say. she quickly walked away and headed to class. i stood there miserable watching her walk away from me. i wanted to catch up to her and tell her i was sorry but i didnt feel so great. i was about to break down. i went to class instead.
as soon as i got to class i took out a sheet of paper and wrote her a note saying i was sorry for what i did, i wasnt feeling great, and that i love her. during lunch time i met up with her brother and told him what happened, and i gave him the note to give to her. when i got home he told me that she got teary eyed in the bus. :(
ok so yesterday, thursday, i met up with her during our 15 minute break in school. i was just standing by our spot again by myself. i saw her pass by again but she didnt stop, she just headed straight to class. of course, i walked quickly and caught up to her and said "you dont say hi?" and she smiled back and said hi. :baby:
i think she was shocked because her face began to turn red. :) hehe.. anyway, i walked her to class like i usually do and as we walked, i asked her "are we still friends?" and OUT OF NO WHERE she said the SAME THING as me. We said it at the same time. it was awesome. :goofy: so yeah, she said she's still my friend and everything. I was going to kiss her on the lips (goodbye kiss) like i usually did but i rememebered she wasnt mine anymore. i felt like crap, but i got close to her, and gave her a kiss on her cheek. she gave me one too. mmm..
(im almost done typing. hang in there!)
during lunch same day, i met up with her brother and he gave me a 3 page / top to bottom note from her. (she gave it to him to give to me because i guess she thought we werent going to see each other.)
the note basically said that she has felt miserable this whole week. she admitted that she was crying on the phone when she dumped me but she was trying to hide it so i wouldnt notice. she also wrote about how she felt on wednesday when i nodded saying no, she walked away quickly ABOUT TO CRY. she was stuffy all day and barely said a word to anyone in school, except one kid in her math class who asked her whats wrong. he eventually got it out of her and tried to make her laugh so that she could feel better.
she also said in the note that she cant talk to her mom about her feelings. i told her to please talk to her mom about it but she just cant. she wont give me a reason. maybe shes embarressed/scared/shy. i dont know.
she wrote about how sorry she is for destroying everything we had and she says she wont call me yet because shes afraid she may break down crying. shes afraid she might say something mean or say something she may regret later on.
and finally, she apoligized for everything and she told me shes miserable. she ended the note by saying that i should not suffer because of her, take care of myself, and not to cry because that will only make it worse.
she wrote "i love you!!" and signed it.
:D
alright so thats my situation. i want her back. i feel so empty without her. what should I do? should I leave her alone? should I try to get with her again?
or will she come running to me instead?
