Upset and Lonely

Hello All,

As suggested by many, I am taking that step in expressing my emotions by writing them down. So that brings me to the other day in which we went to the fair and it was awful. For one, my brother had met some of his friends and as everything was about to be fine and dandy he did not seem to want me around at all. I guess I am an embarrassment or something. The last time I hung out with him and his friends. He said some comments about it that should not have been said. I was hurt by it. Then, there was mom and dad who me and my brother was with. I so did not want to crowd their space and due to dads work schedule and everything going on they hardly ever get to spend time with one another. So I felt so alone I was so upset and depressed among the thousands people there which did not make it any better. I saw a couple of people I knew and they were with their families and I did not want to crowd their space either.

Then the next day was church and I really don't fit in either. Almost all people in it are old and there is only three guys there (myself included) that is in our youth and not only that we have nothing in common and one is my brother. I feel alone sometimes. Then me and my dad went to another church for a dinner and I don't fit in with anyone there either and I try to socialize but I felt out of place, even though the people were nice.

Then yesterday, I was depressed because I really don't have anyone that really wants to do anything with. Not only that even if I did I can not afford the gas and other expenses. I am trying to go to school and I found a job that I can not even start til next week. I am so upset and lonely. Most days I feel tired and I don't feel like doing anything productive.

i used to feel the same way in my teens and spent a lot of time reading and educating myself. don't try to fit in, it will come eventually.

yeah it is hard sometimes. I just hate waiting. I am a patient person to an extent.